The Chemist’s Drinking Song (words: John A Carroll & Jordin Kare)
(tune: Irish Washerwoman)
Paradimethylaminobenzaldehyde,
Sodium Citrate, Ammonium Cyanide;
Mix 'em together and add some benzene
And top off the punch with trichloroeth’lene.
Got gassed up last night on some forfuryl alcohol,
Followed it up with a gallon of propanol,
Tanked up on hydrazine 'til after noon,
Then spat on the floor and blew up the saloon!
Para-dimethyl-amino-benzaldehyde,
Powdered aluminum, nitrogen iodide,
Chlorates, permanganates, nitrates galore;
Just swallow one drink and you’ll never need more.
Whiskey, tequila and rum are too tame;
No, the stuff that I drink must explode into flame
When I breathe and dissolve all the paint in the room,
And rattle the walls with a ground-shaking boom.
Paradimethylaminobenzaldehyde,
Go soak your head in a good strong insecticide;
Slosh it around and impregnate your brain
With dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane.
Keep your methanol, ethanol, n-butyl acetate,
None of them work I’m too hard to intoxicate.
I don’t consider a drink to be strong
If it’s carbon chains aren’t at least twelve atoms long.
Paradimethylaminobenzaldehyde,
Methyl methacrylate, partly solidified,
Add copper sulfate for beautiful hues,
And drink it all down for those Plexiglass blues.