Ireland’s “Crack” Habit
Explaining the faux Irish pub revolution.
By Austin Kelley
Posted Thursday, March 16, 2006, at 5:44 AM ET
Ireland, as much of the world knows it, was invented in 1991. That year, the Irish Pub Company formed with a mission to populate the world with authentic Irish bars. Whether you are in Kazkhstan or the Canary Islands, you can now hear the lilt of an Irish brogue over the sound of the Pogues as you wait for your Guinness to settle. A Gaelic road sign may hang above the wooden bar and a fiddle may be lying in a corner. As you gaze around, you might think of the Irish–O, that friendly, hard-drinking, sweater-wearing people!–and smile. Your smile has been carefully calculated.
There was a place, I’ve since lost the bookmark, that sold pre-fab Irish pubs for your backyard. Think a largish shed, big enough to hold 5-8 of your best friends a couple kegs under the bar.
Well, I went down to dinner and mentioned this business. We laughed a bit, but I got to thinking, it’s no different than going to an ethnic restaurant for dinner. Some Thai restaurants, you have Thai waitresses in beautiful gowns and the statues and paintings are exotic. Some of these places have Mexicans cooking and possibly waiting tables. No one bats an eye.
So, I was thinking, here’s opportunities for jobs: Wanted: red-haired, red-faced man to tend bar. Must be able to fake Irish brogue. Can you say, “They’re always after me lucky charms.”
Irish musicians: One year experience mandatory. Recorder players will be considered.
It may look peculiar seeing locals in Asia playing the tunes and having craic, but hey, just because Americans are caucasian, what’s the difference?
My own preference would be for Lord of the Rings style pubs like in Bree.
Tony
Authenticity, apparently, is key. In answer to the question, “Why is authenticity important?” the concept states that “Sales per square foot in current authentic pubs are exceeding the U.S. average by a factor of two.” The Irish Pub Company’s stance on this issue is even more enigmatic: “The authenticity of the Irish pub concept stands up to scrutiny—the deeper you dig, the more interesting and attractive it becomes.”
In a nutshell, it’s an authentic fake.
But what else could you want after spending well more than $1,000,000 to open the ‘pub in a box’ ?
So, I was looking at the IPCo latest projects page to find a pub they built
in NC (in case I was ever curious and wanted to see what kind of work
they did). I found one on Lake Norman, but it has the most unfortunate
name I’ve seen for a pub: Galway Hooker. (I know, it’s a type of boat,
but still…)
The Gaelic Pub captures the character of the Gaelic people, well known for their dedication to merry-making, music and craftmanship through the centuries.The rough-hewn doors, furniture and bar counters give a natural feel to the interior.
Hand-crafted metalwork fixtures complement the texture of the timber, adding a touch of finesse to the overall design.
Stories from the rich heritage of Irish folklore and mythlogy are illustrated in delicately painted wall murals, inspired by distinctively Gaelic art forms.
This pub, with its combination of natural materials and artistic traditions, provides the ideal backdrop for modern-day musicians and storytellers to recreate the Gaelic way of enjoying life, or ‘craic’ as it is known in Ireland.
I must say that the last word that comes to mind is “natural” when I look at those tables and walls in the top photo. I’m thinking more like epoxy resin or something.
It’s hard to choose. They are all basically absolutely absurd. I’ll have to go with the Traditional Shop Pub.
The Irish Traditional Pub Shop style
In times gone by, often a grocery of hardware store would double as a pub. Customers in town to fetch provisions would tend to take a pint of Guinness or a small whiskey to revive flagging spirits.
A corner of the shop would be set aside, with simple wooden tables and benches, a pot-belllied stove that would burn right through the winter, and wooden floors worn smooth by a thousand pairs of shuffling shoes.
Customers would sit, sip and converse surrounded by shelves clutterd with every conceivable kind of merchendise from sugar to soap, from tea to twine.
Oil lamps would usually hang suspended from the ceiling and throw their soft light on uneven walls. An upright piano, tucked away in one corner, would often lead to an evening’s entertainment.
I could take some of that crap off the walls. Of course, you’ve paid for all that crap to put on the walls I assume. It really is enough to make a person just about physically ill! The fakery of it all. Geez!
