I’ve been invited, via a friend, to come to a military base in NC later this year for a few days to visit with the friend’s boyfriend.
I want to go…but I’m kind of concerned, being a (former) Quaker and homosexual. I don’t know how military bases work. She and I will be staying in a hotel, but spending a lot of time there.
Have any of you ever visited a military base before?
yeah its no big deal, as long as your picture matches your drivers liscense, and you dont go ‘wandering off’. of course, you’ll be under surveilance, but no more (or less) than in your local mall/department store/bank.
no one will give a toss about your private life.
Umm, well, yes, I have, if you consider having been in the military to count.
First, it is not likely you will be spending a lot of time on the base. There will be little for you to do there, and access to most facilities and areas will be restricted to military and dependents. You would not, in any event, wish to enjoy a delicious meal in the mess hall, nor will there be anywhere else you can shop, eat, or entertain yourself. In fact, you may be required to be escorted by the boyfriend. It is not a theme park, after all. If it is a closed base you will not be allowed on at all.
It is far more likely that the boyfriend will come off base to visit his girlfriend and you’ll be left to entertain yourself in what is likely to be a small town with nothing to do. (Might want to bring a book.)
That being said, the military does not track former (or current) Quakers and homosexuals. Nobody will know or care. Any perception you may have that people know things about you, are watching you, or are thinking about you will be in your own mind.
The taboo on military service comes from the Quaker side, not the military side. The military would be quite happy to have Quakers. The military doesn’t inquire about homosexuality and simply asks that you keep it to yourself.
If you end up on the base, you will have to stop at the gate and register. This may require pulling over, filling out paperwork, and they might inspect the car. During this process, you should not joke about bombs, terrorists, smuggled drugs. You should not have drugs or weapons – not even a stick – in the car, even if you have a license to carry. You will need appropriate identification, so if you do not have a driver’s license, state-issued ID, or passport, you might want to do something about that now. (The boyfriend should let you know now what his base will require, including any clothing recommendations.)
The MPs will be very polite and you should be, too. Even if you think that your rights are being violated, remember that you are on a federal reservation. The rules there are not quite the same as everywhere else. If you get arrested, you get tried in a federal court and go to federal prison. So, with that in mind, obey the traffic rules, do not go so much as a tenth of a mile over the speed limit, come to a full stop at lights and signs, and do not jaywalk. Do not attempt to go in any place that is restricted to military and dependents, which will be most everywhere.
If your Inner Quaker asserts itself, or if Ayn Rand speaks to you and suggests that a little anti-anything proselytizing might be fun, repress the thought firmly. You can do that with impunity outside the gate, but free speech stops at the gate. Inside, inappropriate activities are a federal crime. They’re very serious about it. It will be perceived as a threat to national security. Do not joke about those things, either.
You do not have to salute anybody or even acknowledge anyone, if you do not wish to do so. Pleasant demeanor might be nice, though. There are lots of husbands, wives, and children of military members who live on base. You’ll blend in with them.
The military members you encounter will be a little more buff than most and very mature for their age, especially if this is Fort Bragg. They will almost assuredly think you’re a bit of wuss, but that might be a good experience for you.
If you have any specific questions, please ask. 
Lambchop, you are a guardian angel for Jack.
Thank you, dear. I do try, you know.
Looks like Lamby has covered just about everything.
Darn.
Nothing to see here. Move along.
Speaking as an “ex” myself, I had a good laugh at that one!
Tongue in cheek, obviously, but a great write up, Lambchop!
Should I paint my nails pink or leave them purple?
(Just kidding. Thanks.)
Just for your info. I knew several active members of the RSF who were military back during Nam. They were not in combat positions, all joined up, most were NCOs and they counseled younger men in our community who were seeking CO status during the war. To serve or not to serve has been an individual choice within the RSF for some years.
Lambchop left out:
You are unlikely to be required to kill anyone, or even maim them. As a civilian, the usual laws apply.
Fayetteville (Fort Bragg) or Jacksonville (Camp Legeune)? Both are pretty
boring cities, as I understand it. Strip clubs abound. Some are juice bars
because many soldiers are under 21. At least you can get to the beach
pretty easily from Jacksonville.
If it’s Fayetteville, make sure to call it “Fayetnam” (rhymes with Vietnam),
and you’ll fit right in…
I have known gay men who were in the military, and they are some of the
toughest, football-watchingest, red-meat-eatingest dudes I’ve ever met.
But they do keep their sexuality under wraps while on base…
Do not, under any circumstances, drive and use a cell phone at the same time. At least in Norfolk, this is a HUGE no-no. Including hands free.
Besides the “do not Jaywalk” in Lamby’s post -make sure you are walking in correctly identified areas. Some will have paint, some just stay on the sidewalk and you’ll be fine.
Realize that while you don’t have to salute, the boyfriend does, so make sure you aren’t holding on to his right arm. This goes for the girlfriend, too (my DIL had a hard time “getting” this one).
Not in the whole RSF. The branch I come from still writes people out of Meeting for joining the military.
Richard Nixon (different branch) was written out, too.
I used to hang out at Camp LeJeune a bit while in the Navy. It’s near the ocean so you can at least go to the beach. Those Marine Corps uniforms are very nicely designed and Marines tend to be in good shape so, if nothing else, you’ll have plenty to look at.
Yes, they are much better for bayonet practise than an old sack of oats.
djm
I was in the Navy during the first persian gulf dustup, but haven’t been on a base since 9/11, so I can’t say what may or may not have changed. Lambchop’s post seems sensible and on the mark.
The first thing that struck me as funny about military bases when I first joined was how many surveillance cameras there were inside of corridors in buildings. I always thought those movies where spies had to shoot out cameras every 15 feet were a bit over the top. Not so much.
I work with a bunch of Air Force officers and enlisted personnel. I asked them what’s the most common mistake civilians make on base. The vast majority said flag etiquette. If you happen to be on base when the flag is being raised or lowered, STOP DEAD in your tracks, face the flag, and place your right hand over your heart. If you don’t, you won’t be arrested, but you will get verbal abuse like you’ve never experienced before.
But then again, you should ask yourself “Just because they worship the flag, should I? That may be their graven idol, but is it mine? And should I follow along just for the sake of conforming?”
You can at least stop and stand at attention, facing the flag. This is done, if for no other reason, as a sign of respect for the belief of others … especially if they are armed. 
djm
[quote="gonzo914]But then again, you should ask yourself “Just because they worship the flag, should I? That may be their graven idol, but is it mine? And should I follow along just for the sake of conforming?”[/quote]
If the heat were only directed at you, gonzo914 does have a point. Unfortunately the heat will also be directed at your host.