I bought a new loo seat today. This is the start of the “Fitting Instructions”:-
“Please read carefully before attempting to fit the seat. If you are not the end user, please make sure the aftercare instructions are made available for the end user to read.”
I can’t believe they wrote that.
It reminds me somewhat of the actual instructions - once read, never to be forgotten - of a Honda motorbike that a friend had from new many years ago:
“Thrust the tickler (a) onto the plunger (b) until a few drips of oil flood from the overflow (c)”
Actually, I’ve got such a transparent plastic bag where some cables of my turntable were packed in.
This is what is written on this plastic back:
THIS BAG IS NOT A TOY!
Warning - to avoid danger of suffocation keep this bag away from babies and children. Do not use in cribs, beds, carriages or play pens. This bag is not a toy. Knot bag before throwing away.
I mean, yes… but…
However, I’ve pinned that bag on the wall, right above my desk, so that these letters always remind me to use plastic bags with appropriate respect and caution.
My favorite is still my old bike manual that started with “If all else fails, it’s to late to read the manual.”
My lawn mower was purchased partly due to the fact that it told you how the thing worked and not 15 pages of warnings on how you could hurt yourself if used incorrectly.
The Mazda owner’s manual is A pitiful conglomeration of lawyer speak that is not useful. Trying to figure out if the key fob had a setting to change the panic button was nothing but a list of ways a kid could die in your car. Such great tips as “Don’t leave your car unlocked because a child may lock himself in and die.”
Waaaay back when, when I had pet parakeets (budgies) … I remember some sort of medicine or treatment I had to administer with an eye dropper. And the instructions stated emphatically: “Do not squeeze the bird!”.
Some humor can make the difference in the whole experience Depending on what it is for,
and when something is broke or needs to be built, the last thing you want is a generic manual that
doesn’t apply to your make and model or pages of warnings to sift through.
Ikea seems to work on their instructions and have a style to them unlike anyone else.
There are even parodies of them and for better or worse people recognize as part of their brand.
