… don’t even think about crossing the Jazz Police!!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2009/dec/09/jazz-festival-larry-ochs-saxophone
(In Spanish: http://www.elpais.com/articulo/cultura/espectador/denuncia/musico/jazz/tocar/jazz/elpepicul/20091209elpepicul_5/Tes )
And the story’s not over yet. Wait until he gets the lawyers involved!
born in New York, moved to California
ruined many of 'em 
The easiest thing is to ignore jazz completely. A real jazz policeman would arrest all jazzers for being a load of clever-clogs soulless sweaty-sock bollix. Life imprisonment with only tin whistles and spoons for company should cure 'em of their pointless pursuit.
When I ran the music store department, I worked with a Jaco Pastorius-level bass player, actually one of the finest musicians I’ve ever known. And given the time every day I spent torturing autoharps and bones and nose flutes and such, I think my captive employee could have given a detailed report of your “Jazz player in hell” scenario.
Have you ever heard Joni Mitchell’s Jaco stories? He was really hard to work with, but she kept in her band because he was nearly the only bassist she could find who didn’t need to know what the root was. Joni didn’t know, or care. She found those chords by putting her guitars into bizarre tunings, and then exploring what showed up under her fingers. Jaco could cope. Most of the session and touring guys in LA couldn’t.
At one point, some company - maybe Fairlight - send her a brand new something-or-other. Nearly the prototype. She unwrapped it in the studio, and the next thing she knew, the bass player had made off with it, and was cacheing it with his gear. When she looked at him, he snarled and said “MINE!”
And that was that.