I was walking my dog this morning, when a man in a car stopped to ask directions. That’s not unusual…people often get lost in these mountains, and you can pretty much figure that someone who’s walking a dog is a local. What was weird was what happened next:
As I started to answer his question, a man walked out from between two buildings and started to cross the street. The man who had stopped to ask directions immediately turned away from me, and asked the other man instead. In fact, as soon as he saw the other man, he completely ignored me…not even looking at me or acknowledging me with a nod when I added to the directions the other guy was giving him. It was as if I suddenly wasn’t there at all.
I could tell that the other guy was a bit embarrassed by this fellow’s behavior…he thanked me when I finally started to walk away, whereas the guy in the car didn’t even look at me.
I’m not normally given to yelling “sexism,” but I can’t think what else this could have been. It was clear that the two men didn’t know each other, so it wasn’t a case of him preferring to ask an acquaintance.
It may have nothing to do with sex, and
everything to do with attitude… When I am
asked for directions by a stranger, it always
seems to elicit an “Ugh” and some involuntary
face squinching from me. I’m suddenly on the
spot, and I look unsure as I go through the
route in my mind. If someone else is there,
and jumps in with confident directions, I’m
suddenly out of the picture, which is generally
fine with me; I have a terrible sense of direction.
Perhaps you looked unsure without realizing
it, and your interlocutor wanted to hedge his
bets on a horse with a more confident jockey.
Not too likely. I give directions to folks here all the time (and, in fact, used to to it for a living).
Specifically what happened was that he said “I’m looking for a summer camp around here for teenagers…I can’t remember what it’s called.” I said “Oh, that would be Ponderosa” and started to give him directions when the other guy came out and was asked the exact same question.
We had something similar happen several years ago when my wife was buying a new car. One salesman kept trying to deal only with me, basically ignoring my wife. I finally told the guy, “Look, she’s the one buying the car and making the decision about where to spend her money.” Needless to say, she did not buy a car from him.
Seeing as how you knew what you were talking about and was already giving directions, yes, that was strange. A bird in the hand is always worth more than two in the bush. On the other hand, IN GENERAL, I think men and women talk two different languages when it comes to directions.
I’ve noticed that women tend to give directions by landmarks, while men tend to give directions by street names, highway numbers, etc. Not always the case of course, but a discernible pattern nonetheless.
Many times, I’ve asked a woman directions, and she’s said something like, "OK, go until you see a McDonald’s and turn left. A man might be more likely to say something like, “Go through two stop lights and take the next left, which is Hale Street.”
I ask directions of whomever I encounter, and it would never occur to me to gravitate towards men rather than women when I’m lost, but sometimes I do ask questions until I can get the directions into a form that better fits my own brain.
My wife and I are the opposite of your observation. She navigates by street names, I navigate by landmarks. I think these tendencies have more to do with where we grew up and learned to drive than with our gender. She grew up near a city, with street signs on every corner. I grew up in the country, with street signs being quite rare (and often rendered unreadable by buckshot). You use the tools you’ve got.
One of the nice things of having had travel counselor training (I had to go through this as a college student because I had been hired by the Washington State Tourism Bureau for a summer job working in a visitor information center), is that I’ve had training in giving directions using various methods (landmarks, street names, distance in miles or kilometers, driving time, maps, bus routes, etc.). It’s not just a man/woman thing…people in general vary widely in how they process directions, and one must be prepared to alter or combine methods in order to meet the individual’s needs. I’m the person you want to talk to for walking, driving, or public transit directions for anyplace I’ve lived or stayed at for any length of time.
When I worked for the visitor information center in Spokane, I set up a filing system of written directions to all major city landmarks, as well as essential services and routes to various out-of-town locations, that was in use right up until such things were computerized. I keep thinking I ought to change my middle name to Garmin!
I recently became lost at night driving in a large city. I had a rental car, and I thought that I had brought along the street map, but I guess that I didn’t. Anyway, I stopped to ask a directions from a man who was walking on the sidewalk. Not long after he started talking I knew in my mind that I was not going to be able to follow his directions. I politely said thank you so as to terminate the interchange. At this point my wife began to ask the person additional questions about the directions he had given. As before, I wasn’t able to follow the directions. After at least three thank you’s from me and some disagreement between my wife and me, I still didn’t have it clear in my mind what to do. My wife was ticked with me. I soon found another pedestrian and asked again for directions. This time the directions were clear, and I had no trouble following them. If someone tells me to go to the drug store with the blue lights outside and to turn right and then go to the tall gray building next to the gas station and turn left, I stop listening to what they are saying. I’m really not a verbal learner, at all. I am best when I have it in writing, on the blackboard, in a book, or on a map.
Well, an event I was told about, both by the experiencer, and the flasher’s therapist. Turned out to lead to a breakthrough in the flasher’s treatment. But then, this might be too close to a mental health post, so moderators may wish to cut these.
I think you got it right, 
and it sure tops what I was going to suggest. Maybe he had an allergy to dogs?