Well, I thought I’ll head down to the Poststructural Pub, have a few Poststructural Pints (what does poststructural mean anyway?) and get this off my chest:
There’s this girl - well, woman actually. Met her years ago at a musical production. We kept on seeing each other accidentaly over the years, say, about every other year. And I always thought, “there is something there” but nothing ever happened. I just saw her again a couple of weeks ago. We had a pleasant chat and this time I found her on facebook, so I’m keeping kinda in touch.
She’s sweet, intelligent, funny, musical and likes to eat meat! But the last few days she’s been ignoring me completely. And I hate being ignored. It’s an awful downer.
Any advice? (I am very clumsy when it comes to women)
Clumsiness isn’t a detriment, unless you deal with it by being “distant.” Use it to your advantage! Be charmingly clumsy–that can be appealing.
Also, are you at all geeky? If so, be geekily clumsy! That’s a sure-fire winner in my book. Not only do you get a man who is unlikely to stray, but you get one who’s devoted and can change a lightbulb, too.
If she’s not aware of this, you may have to inform her.
Am I geeky? I am a total guitar geek! But I really totally ruined a date once by lecturing about Brian May’s Guitar for hours. A topic that I find absolutely fascinating and - until that night - couldn’t imagine to be absolutely uninteresting for anyone else.
Some men make better husbands than boyfriends. A smart women should know which she’s looking for.
Uh oh! Asperger’s? If so, just recognize the tendency and avoid talking at all until you’ve charmed her to the point she thinks it’s cute.
Here’s a technique you can use. While walking along, simply point out things as you pass and get her to talk about them. “Oh, look! The Alps! Have you ever been there?” “Oh, look! A bakery! Have you ever bought their bread?” “Oh, look! Eidelweiss! First of the season!”
If you’re indoors, simply ask questions about her life, her family, her interests. These things can be difficult to think up on the spot, so make a list. If you put it in your cell phone’s planner, she’ll think you’re just checking your email, when in reality you’re getting the next conversational cue.
If all else fails, just make sure your dates consist of dinner and a movie., dinner and a concert, dinner and the festival, etc.
I’m glad I mentioned cell phones. I need to post a question about that.
I’m a better boyfriend, thanks for making me realize this.
Hey, those are some good ideas!
And I like the picture you have of Switzerland! Heidiiiiii… 
I live in Basel. That’s on the northern Border to France and Germany. I’m planning to go to Germany for Dinner with her.
You can’t see the alps from here. But I can ride my bycicle to France and Germany within about a half an hour which is kinda cool too.
Oh, and what does Asperger’s mean?
Oooooo! Brian May’s guitar? 
Can I come, too? 
djm
Darn- I thought this was a thread on San Francisco Bay Blues by Jesse Fuller
She means me. Among other things. Aspergers is one of the terms to describe High Functioning Autism. Sometimes Dyspraxia is involved. It’s also known as “Mad Scientist Syndrome” which is a pretty good shorthand for the effects. People with this condition suffer from Sensory Overload, find it difficult to read facial expressions, have difficulty with idomatic expressions and find their concentration operates with a kind of “tunnel-vision” - wonderful for doing maths, and solo music, terrible for doing child-minding and group music. We also tend to go off into long discourses about things we find interesting and fail to notice the hearers eyes glaze over.
You mind find it useful to take this test.
I just spent ages carefully filling out that test, then it didn’t work and I got upset. Perhaps that is the real test?
No, sorry Chris. It’s an old site. But the questions themselves should give you the idea.
It gives me the idea that I want to find another test. To be honest it describes most behaviour traits that could be attributed to common or garden geeks like myself.
Here’s another test (very similar):
http://www.piepalace.ca/blog/asperger-test-aq-test
I scored 29. Apparently scores over 32 indicate likely Aspergers or high functioning autism. 21 is an average male or female computer scientist and 18 is an average male. So I’m well above the average for my sex and occupation.
Here’s Wiki on Aspergers. Join us, Chris! We could be the European version of “Big Bang”.
I think the trick in the test is the number of questions that get repeated. This isn’t a hidden pattern. It is more of a sledgehammer effect.
djm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Bang_(disambiguation)?
That AS wiki has a frighteningly familiar set of characteristics.
people with AS are not usually withdrawn around others; they approach others, even if awkwardly, for example by engaging in a one-sided, long-winded speech about a favorite topic while being oblivious to the listener’s feelings or reactions, such as signs of boredom or haste to leave.
I do that!
They may stick to inflexible routines or rituals
Ask my girlfriend about how anal I am with regards to the washing up/packing the shopping/various other day to day activities
Individuals with AS may collect volumes of detailed information on a relatively narrow topic
My performance on the quiz machine on Saturday night indicates my head is full of volumes of detailed information on very narrow topics. Still didn’t win any money though
unusually pedantic, formal or idiosyncratic speech
That’s me as well.
conversational style often includes monologues about topics that bore the listener, fails to provide context for comments, or fails to suppress internal thoughts
And I just thought I was a c***
I wonder if this explains why I always find it easy to remember lots and lots of randomly generated passwords for work. IP numbers as well seem to stick in my mind quite easily.
Overall though I don’t know if I like this (self) diagnosis of AS. I liked just being a geek, or even a nerd. That’s what I am. Having a syndrome doesn’t seem the same somehow…
The fact that you have a girlfriend, goes towards proving that you are merely a Geek, and not a full-blown Aspie.
If you were an Aspie, you would be relieved to find that it explains things like your Tics, odd fluttering motions of the hands, the way you walk funny, and the horrible sensation of fear you get when confronted with large groups of people. Surprise parties are Aspies’ worst nightmares.
Anyway, Sober Sam, please forgive the thread hijack, and don’t accept advice on women from the likes of me.
Yeah a few similar symptoms does not equal a diagnosis. I’m still fairly sure that any autism like behaviour I may show is more a result of, not the cause, of my geeky nature.
What was the original topic again? Oh yes. Women advice.
I’m quite useless with women so I’m not giving any advice. Frankly I’m astonished I’ve even got a girlfriend.
Still got the blues Sam? Don’t worry, so does Gary but he and Albert (RIP) will make you feel better.
Turn the volume up to Eleven for the the best results 