Well .. I am a stick .. I have been a stick for 4 years now.
I know - I’m only a common peice of pine . . but if you take out the n’th .. I’m pie!
All my high-borne blackwood friends keep pointing this out .. so how come I got more money than them and none of their cars are streatched??? Has it got something to do with whistles?
(edited to say: Ahhh . it’s soo embarasing .. 4 years ago I was part of a tree!! And I had all this tree stuff to be doing .. you know? making leafs .. well needles anyway . I know that’s not fashionable, but needles do save lives! .. So I was growing needles and I was doing my bit for all the twigs, but I got bitten off by a parrot and landed in a whistle-shoot for some damn whistle shop! Now, I gotta say .. it’s not easy being a stick in a the world of whistles! For starters, I was 16 and1/2 inches long which is pretty good to be doing photo-shoots where you wanna see if it’s a high whistle or a low one .. but then my agent booked me on a dangerous shoot (with no stuntmen!!) - and NO insurance! And a freeek wind storm resulted in me losing a full 1/2 inch from my stump!!! I got the prophylactic . but makes me feel all the time like mr superman in a wheelchair .. sooo depressing, and even tho Prada made my stump .. there’s always something missing .. and no one is doing stem cells for pine
I didn’t ask for this .. but I’m doing he best I can - your comments will help? )
(edited agian to my eternal shame .. and then after a few years, I tossed off a quip to one of the hired hands and he snapped my head off!!! .. not such a a bad thing to you .. but to a stick .. having your head snapped-off is a major medical situation .. I hadda be re-joined in a field hospital using (uuughhh!) super glue! and bits of my ORIGINAL bark got lost!! My only resort was a Piere Cardin fleuro skarfe! And let me tell you .. Piere Cardin is not exactly on the calendar this year!! (or last year!) but that was the best at hand .. it gets worse! someone even tried to use me as tipper!!! .. Oh the indignity! I’m tempted to start my own brand!!! .. But that would be “work” .. ooooh the degredation in THAT idea!!!
I plead to all you cutting-edge designers! PLEASE save me from this mediocricy I was thrust into - I got better things to do than this .. I started better, and I will not rest until I rot! And if you got a sharp edge - get Stick on your side - I won’t let you down! .. I’m a good stick .. really ..)
Here is the link to Project Runway. http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/project-runway
If you get on the show, stealing Heidi from Seal shouldn’t be too difficult. She must have a thing for disfigurement and sure doesn’t seem to mind what anyone’s name is.
For the longest time I thought people were saying “Project Runaway”, thinking that it must be about finding runaway teens and getting them help to get their lives together.
I think I see where you are going with this. I pray you give up now. You will end up losing the very core of your being, and join up with a bunch of others whose only comparison is how big of a bore they are. You may think they make a big noise. Believe me, they are all full of wind. Keep your integrity. Stay as you are.
You say you are nothing but common pine from Australia. When you say “common pine” are you referring to a Pinus species or to Casuarina equisetifolia. I have no beef with Casuarina equisetifolia in Australia but here in the States when I see Australian pine I instinctively reach for my 8 gallon backpack sprayer with the 72" brass extension wand filled with a glyphosate solution. I have no problem with xylem traveling independently of a root system provided it’s dried out properly and doesn’t continue to drink. Injured xylem in our family often gets help from a mixture of epoxy and sawdust, don’t ask were the sawdust comes from, ya don’t want to know. However we can even restore your bark and all your xylem, if fact we can rebuild you! We can make you better than you were before, stronger, faster, we have the capability. We could even add patina…
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