Help wanted: Banjo tolerant mouse ...

Whistle
1

Just when you get a new staff member up to speed and you think you’re all set, something happens to upset the applecart.

I’ve been through this before. You get someone started, they put in a good week or two, get paid, and then you never see them again.

Gus was such a promising mouse. He showed every sign of being an outstanding contributor here at Global Pennywhistle Tweaking Research and Production Consortium headquarters. He was, for example, the most energetic and athletic mouse we’ve had on staff. If there was no food on his tray, he would shove things around, get under the peanut butter jar lid I use for his food dish and haul it around the tray awhile before inspecting the rest of the objects on the tray. He was also the only mouse we’ve had who would show up in the daytime AND at night. He had a regular schedule of showing up around noon and then again around ten at night.

Alas, I’m afraid it’s all my fault. Last night, in the throes of a marathon tweaking production run, looking for interesting music to accompany my labor, I did a search at the Kennedy Center Millenium Stage performance archives on “banjo.” I found several wonderful performances to listen to online and entertain myself whist tweaking, but in the midst of it all, Gus didn’t show up for his night shift.

I didn’t think much about it, figuring he’d come 'round after I went to bed. But this morning, his sunflower seeds were untouched, which made me wonder …

Then, he didn’t show up again around noon, and I was pretty sure what had happened. I went into the pantry and sure enough, there was Gus. Global Pennywhistle Tweaking Research and Production Consortium headquarters rules clearly state, any mouse who goes into the pantry is likely to get caught and taken out to the woods to fend for himself.

So there was Gus, in the MiceCube humane trap. I took him to the woods and let him go, but I have only myself to blame.

Is it too much to hope for a competent, responsible, energetic, productive staff mouse who ALSO isn’t driven away by the sound of banjo music?

sigh

Best wishes,
Jerry

2

After discussing the matter with the regular local alligator lizards at my General Knowledge Research Center, we concluded that your mouse is probably still in the process of finding himself, and is prone to irrational decisions. Best to write this one off, and wait for another applicant who can tolerate different styles of music.

3

What you need is a training program. Get an operant conditioning chamber (Skinner box)

http://www.wabash.edu/depart/psych/Courses/Psych97A/STUDENT%20PROJECTS/Skinner/hammondk/mouse.html

When banjo music is playing you should permit the mouse to get food by pressing the lever. When there’s no banjo music, no food-no matter how much the little beggar presses. Start with the banjo at low loudness and turn it up gradually as the mouse learns. The beast will come to absolutely love banjos. (I can’t insert the picture for some reason so there’s jus a link to it).

I hope you listened to Michael Miles at the Kennedy Center. He is an amazing clawhammer banjo player.

Steve

4

I did listen to Michael Miles’ “The Magic Banjo,” which was a wonderful performance. I also really enjoyed Ira Gitlin and Friends.

For something a little different, very creative and funny, find the Sons of the Never Wrong performance. Great stuff.

Best wishes,
Jerry