i’m looking for new good ideas for using a whistle for evil. i can get the oil changed in my car and my tires rotated a whole lot faster at the garage if i pull out my whislte while i’m waiting and play a few tunes. i’m not even hitting clunkers or skreechers so i don’t know what their problem is. does anyone else do stuff like this?
Once, at 7:00 on a Saturday morning, I woke my brother (who normally sleeps until 1:00) by putting the whistle very close to his ear, blowing as hard as I could, and moving my fingers randomly and quickly.
It was funny. 
The beagle is not thrilled with my ‘virtuosity’. If I persist, especially in the 2nd register she leaves the room…time to pull the milk and oreos out (alone at last!). Mans gotta do what a mans gotta do. Excuse me while i dunk…
Precisely. My cat, Sapphire, is on permanent “Feed me now, you idiot” mode. But she hates my high whistles. I think you get the picture. I too (though innocently) pulled at my whistle at a Firestone Tire store at 7 AM, waiting for my car to get an oil change. Come to think of it, it DID happen in record time. And, if you’ve ever experienced the sound of a Texas circada at the end of summer, well–it’s ear splitting. I admit to playing late at night at high volumes in an attempt to drown them out. (Hands down, they won.)
I once used my Clark original to hunt weasels.
One of my ferrets, Jesse, reacts to the second octave of the whistle by climbing me like a tree, grabbing the end of the whistle in his teeth, and yanking it away from me. 
He then will take it and hide it in his cache-o-stuff. 
I sneakily recover the whistle and the saga starts over.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
–James
At von Huene we had a professional recorder player come by one or more times a week, to spend time breaking in and giving feedback on the tuning and voicing of each new vH recorder being prepared for sale, this is part of the final tuning and voicing process at the shop.
Well, this otherwise very nice individual sometimes has a habit of repetitively tweedling away on any unusally sour high notes he happens to come across. That is to say, rather than just notating the problem and moving on, he will tend to play these notes over and over and over, even though he knows well enough that they aren’t going to improve until someone else in the shop takes a knife or file to the instrument.
So, one day, this guy is working my last nerve with his noodling on a high second octave note on a SOPRANO recorder, and I snap: I grab my Abell Eb whistle, which I happened to have in my drawer at work, then I sneak up right behind the guy, and as soon as he takes a breath, I BLAST a series of third octave d notes. Heh heh, you should have seen him jump!
Friggin’ recorder players.
Loren
My dog ingnores me when I use the the whistle as a weapon so to speak.
But it works like a charm on my kids. I can chase them from any room or the house even with the right tune.Ahh what power 
What is it with ferrets and caches? My old roomie’s ferret used to try to
drag a whole juggling club (twice his size and weight) under the couch.
It was funny to watch. He’d usually get it halfway under before I’d grab
it back. Once we lifted the couch and discovered where our missing
socks had gone.
There are non-evil motives for playing the whistle?
I know that whenever I am home and playing, I can always get the dog to holw right along, espically in the second octave. After a while though, he runs off to the basement.
I find the high register just as effective as my husband’s banjo for clearing our ornery cat off the sofa. All cats are critics, it seems.
Me and another evil whistler (who shall remain nameless) have played Sean Sa Ceo at sessions on whistles together, just to torture people with that ear-splitting double third-octave c sharp.
I wish I were brave enough to play in public, so that I might get faster service too. Mostly I play whenever I can get some time alone at home. My cats know its me and come running, especially my shy one who is terrified of the kids. He’ll make a brave forray from out of the basement with big meows. The problem is that he hates the sound. My poor conflicted kitty, can’t decide whether to stay or go.
Just because I had to club a guy with a Low Low A once doesn’t make me evil. 
Okay that never happened.
I keep a particularly screechy Little Black D in my office. It’s very effective at eliminating unwanted visitors. I don’t have to actually play anything . . . merely the offer of a little recital is sufficient to clear the room.
Several weeks ago, I was at work late and thought to watch the bats fly out from under the eaves at sunset. I was standing outside on the porch, about 15 feet from where they exit, noodling on the whistle while I waited.
The bats never came out.
You can cause bleeding of the spleen with a 3rd octave d on a Susato.
Please, only do this to bad people. I must insist.
i have found my people. thanks folks, i’d write more but my eyes are tearing up.
There have been a couple of times I’ve been tempted to shed my passivism and use one as a cudgel. Get thee behind me … and fast!
Alas, the vet confirmed our dog is deaf. She used to snuggle next to me on the recliner while I practiced. This loud exposure to my whistle learning could be unintentional evil on my part (not a mortal sin according to the Baltimore Catechism).
I’m hoping it wasn’t the whistle that caused the hearing loss. The vet doubted it. She is 11 years old (the dog -not the vet). I probably won’t go to hell for this, but I could have to spend eons in purgatory having to continuously play the song “Sugar, Sugar” on a recorder.
Patrick