John Pickrell in England
for National Geographic News
June 17, 2003
Humans are unique among primates for our near-total bodily hairlessness. In fact, only a handful of the 5,000 or so mammals—mostly semi-aquatic species such as whales, walruses, and hippopotamuses—are not covered in dense fur.
Now, a controversial new theory suggests that human hairlessness evolved as a strategy to shed the ticks, lice, fleas, and other parasites that nestle deep in fur.
And how much more do they want us to shave off, according to the ads in all media, if we only have the hair left on our heads, that would be fine with them, as long as we use their magic potions.
If this is true, then how come there are not more mammals in Africa that are hairless? I mean, just look at things like lions and hyenas. They’re quite furry!
If there is indeed a Good Lord, then the hair on the human male is surely His number one joke. I mean, why do I need extra hair growing out of my ears and nose and around my b*m just because I’m getting older? I didn’t have it when I was a callow youth and I don’t flippin’ well need it now! Why have I got hilarious-looking bald patches on my calves? The ones on my legs - duh. And why do I lose hair from the very place I need it most, i.e. the top of my head, which is now subject to severe sunburn within minutes of going outdoors except for a few weeks either side of Christmas?
And possibly the most mystifying thing of all. How does pubic hair know that it’s the correct length and can stop growing? If I cut it, it grows back to the same length as before, not a millimetre more. But how do the living follicles know that the inert ends, inches away, have been trimmed? They can’t know can they? The hair on my head or face will just keep growing longer and longer and must be kept under control but my untrammelled pubes know exactly how to behave. By rights I should have been tripping up over them years ago.
No school biology book ever explained these things!
They > can’t > know can they? The hair on my head or face will just keep growing longer and longer and must be kept under control but my untrammelled pubes know exactly how to behave.
I believe you will notice that, if you trim it, the pubic fallout on your bathroom floor and shower drain is . . . shorter. Then it’s slightly longer. Then longer still. And so on, until it’s the untrimmed length again. But, at each stage, it’s ALL THE SAME LENGTH. That’s because it’s falling out when it gets to a certain age, not a certain length.
Follicles don’t know how long the hair is . . . only how long they have been producing it. Pubic follicles must have a shorter production period than those elsewhere on the body.
At least, that’s my theory. My other theory was that the follicles “knew” how long the hair was by sensing the pressure built up by the constricting effect of underpants.
There’s another conundrum. Why is it that if you shave your eyebrows, or wax them–even once–the parts you DO want will never grow back? But you can do anything you’d like to the parts you DON"T want–year after year–and they’re back within hours? And they’ve brought friends!
Steve - to get a little serious here for a moment - that can be a sign of poor circulation. My dad had phlebitus (sp?), many, many blood clots in his legs, and eventually had to have some of the veins replaced and be on blood thinner. He realized after the surgery that he actually had hair on his legs for the first time in years. His circulation had been so poor that there had been none.
So - please make sure everything is ok?!
Paula Cole (the singer) doesn’t shave under her arms, and I don’t see why so many women do. It’s kinda pointless, I think. Does shaving one’s armpits serve a purpose other than vanity or societal expectations?
