My girls were left alone between the time they got in from school and when I got home from work at that age- about 2 hrs. There were two reasons they were able to do this. One- They had each other. There’s only a year between them in age, and two- there were at least 5 skye terriers sharing the house with them. I knew that two of these dogs would defend them to the death. (the others would bark at least and sound scary. ) When the elder would complain about the dogs, I’d remind her that they were the only reason they got to ride the bus home and not go to their grandmothers after school.
You know your daughter. If you don’t think she’s ready to be home alone, then she probably isn’t.
Would she be willing to take a babysitting class? I remember that a lot of my friends took them from the Red Cross back when I was that age. I know you’re not asking about babysitting particularly, but that kind of class usually has the kids go through how to handle an emergency as well. It might be easier for your daughter to deal with emergency planning in that context – a surprising number of people panic for themselve but can deal with difficult possibilities in the context of preparing to help others.
I would love for her to take one (and she’d like to as well), but here they’re only available to Girl Scouts! I’ve tried for the past several years to coordinate one (not to mention tried to get her into Girl Scouts, which is only slightly more difficult than getting a child into Harvard), but both are darned near impossible. Very frustrating. Her school even tried to get the Red Cross to come in and teach a babysitting class last year, but no luck.
Cowtime, I can relate to the dog situation. One thing I was saying to my husband tonight is “I’ll feel a lot more comfortable about the situation when we have a dog again.” One stipulation when I was a kid was that the dog was to be in the house when I was home alone (and I felt a lot more comfortable having him there!). We lost our Cedar so recently that it’s just too soon yet, for us, to get another dog, but that will definitely make me feel more comfortable, at least from the human-danger angle.
That’s surprising about the girl scouts entry. I joined a new troop when I was in high school (had recently moved) and I don’t remember it being any problem. What have you run into, difficult troop leaders, red tape, or..?
I agree. The reference to girl scouts being difficult to get into strikes me as odd. All of my girls were in troops at one time or other during their elementary years. More often than not though, the leaders had to give it up as too much which led to the troop’s dissolution, but I think my girls all would have moved on to other things before 12 anyway.
It’s true that there tend to be fewer troops in the middle school and upwards years.
That Scouts thing can be tricky. Both my mom (in nyc years ago) and a
friend here in nj, both had to volunteer to be assistant troop leaders in
order to get first me, and then my girlfriend’s kid, to join the troops. Too
many kids, not enough troop leaders. And a waiting list!
Red, I think your intuition is right on. Don’t leave her alone if it doesn’t
seem right. We have ours trained for years now to bring along something
to do - game, cd player, book, hw, whatever. 12 isn’t too old to take
along with you.
That’s the deal here as well. We have tried to get her into a troop since she was in first grade, but all the troop have been full…even going as far south as Watsonville! There was even a troop that met at her school, but once they had their quota, there was no adding even one more kid. They’re extremely rigid about that here…much more rigid than Camp Fire ever was! I volunteered to help, but the only option they gave me was to try to form another troop on my own, with myself as leader (which would have been nearly impossible, as all the girls we knew from school and church were already in established troops and, at the time, I was working as well). We finally gave up and signed her up for the Boys and Girls Club instead.
Personally, I don’t think such training should be limited to kids in special clubs, especially clubs with membership limitations, but that seems to be the case, at least in our area. First aid training I can probably get her through our local fire department, but not the babysitter certification.
“When you are mature enough to handle discussing and practicing what to do in an emergency, you’ll be mature enough to stay on your own.”
Simple logical consequence of her own choices. That will probably make her fish or cut bait.
Edited to add… though I think 12 is too young myself, and my youngest, a 12yo daughter goes with someone of us rather than be left at home, even with a neighbor that we trust close by. Drawing tablet, books to read, crocheting, a whistle, something to occupy her is always gong with her.