I’m pleased to bring you folks news of a new fluting breakthrough. After much research we found that much of the ‘pure drop’ trad sound came from the interaction with the airflow with the facial hair of the players. Here’s some examples:
and also
and last but not least
After extensive wind tunnel tests we have come up with the ‘Flute Beard’ this product clips on to your flute The ingenious design means that it is suitable for both ladies and gentlemen. It is of course fully washable, which is a good thing as the finest results were obtained by dipping the moustache section into some Guiness before playing.
If my good tone comes from my beard helping get the angle right on my embouchure, and your good tone comes from hard work–and I’ve heard clips of you playing, you do have a lovely tone–that makes you the better flutist, in my opinion.
The strands of hair ‘comb’ the air into a set parallel laminar air flows that give the sound more edge.
Most of the pro players have already ordered one. The only problems so far have been sartorial.
Mary - the dark will bring out the blond, I’m wondering if they double up as a wig, glove, zipper for wallet, drool sack, lunch box, maybe pot holder?
is it 7 year waiting list, like every thing else?
I grow a beard in the winter. I hate shaving, but I sweat so much that a beard is just way uncomfortable when it’s warm. For fluting, this is the opposite of what’s needed: in the summer, the flute sildes around on my lip due to the sweat, whereas a beard would provide a little friction. This is yet another reason I prefer boxwood, since it’s less slippery than blackwood.
I actually found that having a beard was detrimental to my flute playing. Physically, of course, the flute will be positioned differently when resting on a beard, so you have to get used to place the flute somewhat differently when sporting a beard. In addition, beards grow (and sometimes get a trim again), and it all impacts the way you have to hold the flute. Bother, I say!
Mary, they do indeed come in blonde but could I interest you in our Christmas special in white? As for sporrans and such that’s a silly idea, there is a small pocket on the back for corkgrease and swabs.
Unfortunately there has been such a demand that the waiting list is 5 years. But we are doing a moustache only version that can be yours in less than 6 months
