Does anyone out there know of a way to flatten a bent vinyl LP?
My parents just sent me an old LP of me playing baritone horn in the 1980 Hawaii State Select Band. The record’s got a bend in it (like the brim of a cowboy hat).
Is there a way to flatten it so it’ll play?
Thanks,
Aldon
You could take a blowtorch to it to soften it up, then smash it between two cinderblocks.
I cannot add anything to that.
djm
Or you could go over it with a clothes iron…
or you could even take it to the dry cleaners and have them put it into their big press for trousers… 
Or you could donate it to the Hard Rock Cafe… 
Skeet range…pull!
Markb
I was thinking about leaving it in a hot car with the windows up between two boards for a couple of hours…
Seriously though, (I know that’s asking for a lot) is there any way that works?
Oh, and I’m enjoying reading the replies…
Aldon
I dont think that there is, but don’t let that stop you from trying !
LP’s are so cheap at garage sales, by a box full for $3 and warp them in the car. Then the experimentation begins! Such a fun project.
Don’t Leave Your Records In The Sun
(Words & music John Hartford)
Don’t leave your records in the sun
They’ll bend and they won’t be good to anyone
Don’t leave your records in the sun
They’ll get all wavy and they just won’t play
No they just won’t play …
There was this record of Heino
'Twas the last one they had in the store
So I bought it and I laid it on the car back seat
Now it just won’t play any more
Hurrah!
Don’t leave your records in the sun
They’ll bend and they won’t be good to anyone
Don’t leave your records in the sun
They’ll get all wavy and they just won’t play
No they just won’t play …
Just won’t play -
Just won’t play -
Just won’t play -
Just won’t play -
I worked my way through college at a radio station with an immense collection of vinyl lps. I don’t believe there is any way to fix a warped record. One would think that pressing it between 2 flat surfaces at fairly high pressures and for a long time might help, but I frankly doubt it. As is well known, the molecular structure of vinyl is prone to curvature at the molecular level and then the “ends” of the curve are attracted to each other through one of the “weak” nuclear forces–I forget which one. I think it might be called “Buckle.” This attraction of the “ends” of the curve exists because the distance between the ends is now shorter than the full length of the curve. This is the problem with warped vinyl.
Now, attempts by the major record companies to address this on the molecular levels were in full swing … in the early 1980s, just as the transition to CDs was getting going. Atlantic Records, for example, was a major funder of the the Vinyl/Buckle-Warp Particle Accelerator Facility outside of Lubbock, Texas. The existence of this facility was first made known after a Texas newspaper sued to get the government documents released. To my knowledge, only one major study was conducted at the facility.
In the study, 100 copies of a vinyl LP (by K.C. & the Sunshine Band, as it turns out), were deliberately warped by leaving them in the backseat of a Ford Pinto on a J.C. Penney parking lot in Lubbock. One by one, these unfortunately three-dimensional LPs were placed at one end of the accelerator and bombard/e/d// with a newly//di//c/i—iovered///pa/r///t///////////////BRK
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-----][BRK[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[SCANKEYWORDS???====++.//////
DISALLOW CONTENT LOAD 0.8.//////////REFERENCE:0.6+////////////
BRK
RESULT:DISALLOW//////////////////////////STOP
DELETE ORDER//SIGN:viagra
enter: PASSWORD:cheney
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CUE.PERSONNEL DELETION TEAM BETA:
TARGET(S): D.WISELY, R.LAFFERTY, A.MOUNT
(END)
James Doohan didn’t really die…
he faked his death so he could be the cheif engineer at the facility in question…
Ah Dale, I think you are stringing us along, thus the weak force you are looking for is the String theory
MarkB
For the record, I was just needling you about vinyl. Someone will probably now turn the tables on me.
Oh, you really think you’re in a groove now, don’t you? Sorry, but I’m afraid you’ll have to fortyfive your humor if you want to impress me.
Carol
Oh, listen, Carol. I’m not trying to break any comedy records here.
Well, now that I think about it, maybe I am. So scratch that.
Sorry Squire, I scratched the record… Sorry Squire, I scratched the record… Sorry Squire, I scratched the record… Sorry Squire, I scratched the record… Sorry Squire, I scratched the record… Sorry Squire, I scratched the record…
Geez, this whole thing is spinning out of control and I don’t know a single thing I can do about it. Go ahead, label me a killjoy, but this seems like a capitol waste of time.
Carol
Anybody gotta decca cards?
Can’t we disc cuss this properly. I’m coming to the conclusion that you’re all bums. Don’t press me any further. Any more of this and I’ll be B-side myself with rage.
Steve