Fess Up! Who has all the teaspoons?

Poststructural Pub
1

From Science Daily:

Researchers Investigate The Case Of The Disappearing Teaspoons

Full story here (ya, ya I know about copyright!)

Source: BMJ-British Medical Journal
Date: 2005-12-23
URL: Researchers Investigate The Case Of The Disappearing Teaspoons | ScienceDaily

Researchers Investigate The Case Of The Disappearing Teaspoons
“Where have all the bloody teaspoons gone?” is an age old question in the workplace. In this week’s British Medical Journal, researchers at the Burnet Institute in Australia attempt to measure the phenomenon of teaspoon loss and its effect on office life.

They purchased and discreetly numbered 70 stainless steel teaspoons (54 of standard quality and 16 of higher quality). The teaspoons were placed in tearooms around the institute and were counted weekly over five months.

After five months, staff were told about the research project and asked to complete a brief anonymous questionnaire about their attitudes towards and knowledge of teaspoons and teaspoon theft.

During the study, 56 (80%) of the 70 teaspoons disappeared. The half life of the teaspoons was 81 days (that is, half had disappeared permanently after that time). The half life of teaspoons in communal tearooms (42 days) was significantly shorter than those in rooms linked to particular research groups (77 days).

The rate of loss was not influenced by the teaspoons’ value and the overall incidence of teaspoon loss was 360.62 per 100 teaspoon years. At this rate, an estimated 250 teaspoons would need to be purchased annually to maintain a workable population of 70 teaspoons, say the authors.

The questionnaire showed that most employees (73%) were dissatisfied with teaspoon coverage in the institute, suggesting that teaspoons are an essential part of office life. The rapid rate of teaspoon loss shows that their availability (and therefore office life) is under constant assault.

One possible explanation for the phenomenon is resistentialism (the theory that inanimate objects have a natural aversion to humans), they write. This is demonstrated by the fact that people have little or no control over teaspoon migration.

Given the widely applicable nature of these results, they suggest that the development of effective control measures against the loss of teaspoons should be a research priority.

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Citation: The case of the disappearing teaspoons: Longitudinal cohort study of the displacement of teaspoons in an Australian research institute; BMJ Volume 331, pp 1498-1550 (http://bmj.bmjjournals.com/cgi/content/full/331/7531/1498?ehom)





Doing a quick check in our lunchroom here at work, I think that is world wide affliction.

MarkB

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A very large number of them can be found in a small cabin on Lake Kabekona in Minnesota. Don’t ask me how they got there.

3

I get a “page cannot be displayed” message. Could you give us the basic idea, Mark? (I mean more than the thread title.) I’m very concerned about teaspoons.

Susan

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Susan, go back to my original post, I have posted the whole article there.

MarkB

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I think the answer is simple. You make a cup of tea or coffee. You take it to your room. Naturally, as you haven’t finished stirring when you leave the tearoom, you take the spoon with you. When you get to your office, you remove teaspoon from drink and put it in a safe place.

When you have finished your drink, or when you want your next one, you return to the tearoom with your cup but you seldom remember to return the spoon. Well, since it is in a safe place, you can’t see it and can’t even remember taking it out of the tearoom. You return from the tearoom with the same cup but a different teaspoon.

About once a month you find a stash of teaspoons. They are now covered in an interesting green growth. Now they could be cleaned of course, but someone might find you in the tearoom with 15 green spoons and rumours could spread. So it is much safer to throw them out discretely hidden in other rubbish than to risk the scorn and wrath of colleagues.

Reliable studies show that if 40% of workers follow this practice, the disappearance of teaspoons can be fully explained.

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This clearly doesn’t apply in the US because we have coffee rooms.

7

At home it is forks. Where are all the bloody forks? There’s no-one else here but me. I can’t find them in other rooms, not fallen between the cushions or under chairs. I just bought 8 more forks over xmas to replenish my supply. Perhaps I too will discretely start marking and tracking the forks to see how long it takes me to lose them all.

djm

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nah - at my house it’s pens. I can NEVER find a darn pen when I need one. I buy a pack of cheap ones, put them next to the phone in the kitchen, two days later they are gone.

However, I do know where picks go. Tom leaves them in his pants pockets all the time, so they wind up either in the washer or dryer. He says it’s so he can “pick cleanly”… :astonished:

9

The dispersion and subsequent disappearance of the teaspoons was due to the Brownian motion of the tea.

10

Surely Amar’s avatar/signature should have pre-warned everyone of this!

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These objects exist in abundant quantities scattered throughout our house. Several can often be spotted from one vantage point except if the following condition exists: You need one.

Pens
Hairbrushes
Retractable measuring tapes
Nail snippers
Flashlights
Any tool: drill bits, pliers, etc.

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I resolved the retractable tape measures issue by putting one in each room where I frequently want to have one to hand. When I find I am returning the tape to its designated spot, and there is already one there, the hunt is on to figure out where the one in my hand came from. It takes a while, but this method has worked relatively well for me. I can almost always find a tape measure. But forks …

djm

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The complete article, on the British Journal of Medicine page:
http://bmj.bmjjournals.com/cgi/content/full/331/7531/1498?ehom
is just priceless. It’s full of laugh out loud little scientific comments.

For example:

Although the scientific literature is strangely bereft of teaspoon related research, the phenomena we have described are capable of interpretation using some well known theoretical perspectives.

You can also browse over to a page of online responses from readers of the article, which are also really funny. My favorite:

Could teaspoons be the larvae of some unrecognised adult?

Ian Westmore,
Retired
Home, 5251
Send response to journal:
Re: Could teaspoons be the larvae of some unrecognised adult?



Were the spoons used in this study cleaned in dishwashers? If so the cause of their apparent disappearance may be similar to that which sees socks regularly disappear when washed.

In a highly classified, and so far unpublished study I determined that socks are the larval stage of the common wire coat hanger. When temperatures and humidly are exactly right sock larvae crawl into the far recesses of washing machines to pupate emerging as fully formed, but still pliable hangers (bodies fully expand and harden instantly on exposure to sunlight) some 36 hours later. This timing ensures they will have the cover of darkness when they leave the machines to seek mates. Probably to maximise survival each sock twin seems to require slightly different conditions for initiation of metamorphosis which is why both socks of a pair rarely ‘vanish’ on the same day. As adults can only mate while hanging by their hook shaped tails, closets and wardrobes are their favoured habitat.

Competing interests: I drink tea black without sugar

http://bmj.bmjjournals.com/cgi/eletters/331/7531/1498#124599

Best wishes,
Jerry

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Here are a few solutions I would suggest:

Remove the cups and spoons and combine them in to one:

secure them in a way so people can’t walk off with them:

or get either of these guys to take care of the spoons:

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Where have all the teaspoons gone?
Long time passing!
Where have all the teaspoons gone?
Long time ago!
Where have all the teaspoons gone?
Gone to teacups one by one,
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the teacups gone?
Long time passing!
Where have all the teacups gone?
Long time ago!
Where have all the teacups gone?
Onto saucers every one,
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the saucers gone?
Long time passing!
Where have all the saucers gone?
Long time ago!
Where have all the saucers gone?
Flown to Area Fifty-One,
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

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Good one Walden.

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Or maybe URI GELLER could have something to do with it…

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Look for this guy in your house or workplace.

MarkB

19

Who is that? The Spoonabomber?

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Maybe they are going off to fight for justice.