English Will Be The European Language

Poststructural Pub
1

This is so funny. :slight_smile:

Sorry to all those who might’ve seen this before.

TOP NOTICE - VERY URGENT

ENGLISH WILL BE THE EUROPEAN LANGUAGE!!!

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been

reached to adopt ENGLISH as the preferred language for European

communications, rather than GERMAN, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English

spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased

plan for what will be known as Euro English (Euro for short). In the first

year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”.



Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.

Also, the hard “c” will be replaced with “k”. Not only will this klear up

konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing

publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be

replaced by “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to

reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments

will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a

deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of

silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” by

“z” and “w” by “v” . During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd

from vords kontaining “ou”, and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer

kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten

styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it izi tu

understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru. !!!

2

I dont want to seem as if I had a poker up my butt and this issue - or give you any grief - BUT the “JOKE” might just come over as offensive to some people - especially Germans.

I am Irish and there are a lot of jokes out there that play on the Irish persons use of English - and I find that the telling of this type of joke often says something about an underlying attitude or even a prejudice in the teller -something I occasionally find disagreeable.

I really like the mission statement on your website:

What are we trying to achieve? A revolution in thinking and feeling, an affirmation of peace and nonviolence, an infinite gentleness, a value for the life, happiness and welfare of every person, and all the political and structural changes that will bring this about.

3

The first time I came across this it was shown to me by some German friends who thought it was hilarious.
They also had a habit of throwing towels over our wives and girlfriends. They claimed it was German wife swapping. :smiley:

4

Mark Twain did something similar regarding changing the alphabet but I can’t find it. I’ll keep looking.

5

I know. I’m learning German and this was circulating around some German-speaking newsgroups I’m on. :stuck_out_tongue:

6

:laughing:
Hilarious.
As an Irishman living in England ,I get to hear things like “O Jayzuz now Paddy,Top of de mornin’ te ye..” and suchlike, twenty times a day.The people who fire this stuff at me are all very good friends and workmates.Racism is about attitude and the intent behind the words.
Anything else is just banter.

Anyway,I give back as good as I get :wink:

Slan,
D.

7

I didn’t realize that your name was Paddy, Dub.


sorry…maybe I should just go for that second cup of coffee after all? :wink:

8

I get called worse things than Paddy I can tell ye,a lot worse :wink:

Slan,
D.

9

Late for supper? Or do they even have that saying across the pond? :stuck_out_tongue:

10

Hi Mary! :slight_smile:

11

That’s Irish Mary to you boyo

:stuck_out_tongue:

Slan,
D. :laughing:

12

I’d like a show of hands please. Who here does NOT understand that some people might not like certain jokes? Anyone? Don’t be shy. Who here does NOT understand that some people might be offended by some jokes. You in the back…oh, you’re just scratching your head. I see. Anyone at all? No?

13

People are always offended at something. That’s the nature of humor. It walks the line…

14

“Who here does NOT understand that some people might not like certain jokes?”


You know - I may be weird (shuddup, Fly…), but I find the FUNNIEST jokes, stories, etc. are those that I can actually identify with because they concern something about me that is actually true.
I LOVE Jeff Foxworthy and his “you might be a Red Neck” stuff - because it’s so darn true! I know SO many people - family included - that fit so many of his sayings.
Having lived around “handymen” all my life - Red Green totally cracks me up.
Jokes about short people, etc. - most have some truth to them.

I always feel that if you can’t laugh at yourself - you can’t laugh with or at anyone else either. And I do a LOT of stuff that can be laughed at - usually not on purpose.

Missy

15

True. But who’d want to be without it?

16

Martin Milner.

17

that was VERY funny, especially when reading loud :laughing:

Brigitte

18

Tony, I think your heart is in the right place and, although I myself don’t think this joke is one of them, I have, on a very few occasions, seen some extremely mean-hearted sentiments expressed as an innocent “joke” in these forums. I think everyone probably knows jokes can offend people; the problem is that not everyone cares. It never hurts to give it some thought.

Okay, bak to ze original topik.

19

This reminds me of a joke a friend of mine tells. He starts off with a long list of different physical conditions and how their names have changed:

Blind - visually challenged etc

Then he goes on about his girlfriend and how she’s incapable of even whistling 4 bars in tune or in time (my friend is an accomplished musician). Anyway, he refers to his girlfriend as being musically challenged.

20

I’m known as “vertically challenged” around here (I’m 5’4"). I don’t think I’m short, but that’s because my dad was 5’5", mom - 5’ even, and all my grandparents under 5’ (one grandmother was 4’8").

Until I had Lasik (and Nate grew to 5’10") we used to call ourselves the myopic midgets!