Caption Contest

Poststructural Pub
1

This illustration comes from a 14th Century French book about King Arthur. The premise here is that Sir Launcelot has been messing around with the King’s wife (or some such wickedness) and he’s now gone to confess to this hermit who lives in a wicker house in this tree here.

The contest is to see who can come up with the best caption for this picture, besides “For thy penance thy horse is fixin’ to kick thee in the @®$€.” I already thought of that.

I don’t know if there will be a prize. Maybe if somebody donates one. I don’t know who will be doing the judging, either.

2

“Forsooth, crafty villain, I believeth thee not that mine fine steed walketh upon two legs. Get thee down from this tree that I might smite thee sound and proper.”

djm

3

"I careth not that you have traveled leagues and leagues to seek my wisdom. Verily I will NOT give thee a ‘High 10’ "

4

“That’s a strange-looking bird in that nest (and a strange looking nest). Be careful, keep your distance.” --as said by the horse

5

“I care not for your attentions, Lancelot. Put thy hands on thine horse. I want to pretendeth I am in Tijuana”

6

“First you must make the other half of that tree grow leaves. That thing freaketh me out.”

7

Please sir, I can’t take off me mittens. Mum attached 'em with a wee bit o’yarn across me back!

8

Yes, I live in a basket, get over it already.

9

"You must return here with a shrubbery… or else you will never
pass through this wood… alive. "

10

Now let’s see if I’ve go this one right. You’re asking ME for advice on your love life?

11

People ask priests all the time. That’s not as absurd a notion as you think.

12

You’re right. It’s even more absurd than I think.

13

Wow. That’s just so clever.

14

Lance: “O great, wise and noble basket-man; what wouldst thou desirest to give this poor knight his thumbs back?”

Monk: “eeeehh…Is that a boy horse, or a girl one?”

15

Hermit:
“Beat it Jingle-head! This here outhouse ain’t no two-seater. Go use that tree!”

Knight: (grumble) “Dogpatch Renaissance Faire my arse…”

16

hey lancelot, did you notice there is a horse behind you dressed like an ass?

17

Pray tell kind Sir! Could thee point me to the old condom machine!!

RORY

18

“You must be this tall to get on this ride. You should’ve come in on your horse. Now go fetch me a Mr. Pibb.”

19

Twas Brillo and G.E. Stoves
Did Proctor-Gamble in the Glade
All Pillsbury were Tasty Loaves
And in a Minute Maid

“Beware the Station Break, my son,
The voice that lulls, the ads that vex,
Beware the Doctor’s Claim and shun
That horror called Brand-X!”

He took his Q-Tipped swab in hand,
Long time the Tension Headache fought,
So Dristan he by a Mercury,
And Bayer break’d in thought.

And as in Bufferin Gulf he stood,
The Station Break, with Rise of Tame,
Came Whisking through the Pride-hazed wood,
And Cream-Rinsed as it came!

“Buy one! Buy two! We’re almost through!”
The Q-Tipped Dash went Spic-and-Span,
He Tide Airwick, and with Bisquick,
Went Aero-Waxing Ban.

“And hast thou Dreft the Station Break?
Ajax the Breck, Excedrin boy,
Oh Fab wash day! Cashmere Bouquet!”
He Handi-Wrapped with Joy.

Twas Brillo and G.E. Stoves
Did Proctor-Gamble in the Glade
All Pillsbury were the Tasty-Loaves
And in a Minute Maid.

- Mad Magazine

djm

20

Old Man Willow explains to Sir Lancelot how the prostate exam will be performed.