Hey Steve, are ya gonna be mannin’ the barricades when I come for my hols?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4649097.stm
I always go down to the far west where it doesn’t seem so crowded (except St Ives) and I’ve been going there so long I’ve learnt most of the local’s tricks for avoiding the crush. My son, having lived there for a while, gave me a few tips as well.
Residents of Daymer Bay have forked out £11,000 for private security guards, and local police have obtained an Asbo allowing them to close the beach after 10pm during July and August. Anyone refusing to leave could face three months in jail or a £2,500 fine.
I wonder who keeps the money from the fines? Seems like a good source of revenue.
I like the idea of the
Anti-social Behaviour Order
although one would think it already existed in current laws. The title of the order is so polite. 
I think we have “Drunk and Disorderly” here.
I say give 'em big expensive tickets if they start tearing things up and getting too drunk. Okay, some might not come back, but the people who want a peaceful vacation would be more drawn to vacation there.
Maybe the fines go to paying the extra guards or police overtime? Or they might pay for damage and cleaning up disgusting messes.
Although perhaps if they heard Steve’s harmonica playing, the rowdy beasts would be soothed.
Daymer Bay and Polzeath are on the Camel estuary. Polzeath’s always been a bit of a fleshpot but Daymer Bay’s a nice spot with orchids growing on the dunes above. We’ve also had a bit of trouble at Rock, not very far away, which in recent years has been occupied in summer by public school Hooray Henrys (even the odd young royal). However, Rock redeems itself by having Sharp’s Brewery which makes the best beer in the Westcountry. Make sure you have a pint of Doombar when you come down (just ask for a pint of Doom!). It’s very pleasant to take the ferry across from Rock to Padstow where you can get good fish and chips at Rick Stein’s emporium.
Steve
I think they might all go home. Or I might even get an ASBO myself.
Steve
Too right Steve. I’ve been on the Doom for a couple of years now when I visit. I’ll be at Kenneggy so it’s up the lane, turn left, keep going till you hit the Coach n 'Osses. It’s a little bit more than MSD (that’s ‘maximum staggering distance’ to you outlanders) but I usually make it back OK. 
Well, if you happen to be coming down on the A39 by Bude give us a shout and I’ll make you a cup o’ char! Bring whistle and mando of course!
Steve
I’m under a strict instrument embargo this year (lack of packing space) so the mando and concertina are out of the question and Anthea’s threatened to run a metal detector over the suitcase. Now if I can just bury the Susato deep enough…
Heheh. Is that what she told you? 
Steve
The theory is, if we take our instruments then Adam will want to take his and with a 120 base accordion in the boot I’ll have to spend a fortnight in nothing but my swimming trunks (not really suitable for the Coach n 'Osses).
So you’re not caravanners then. Thank goodness for that. And don’t get me going on caravans anyone else! 
Cheers
Steve
Not any more. We sold the ‘tin tent’ and used the money to have the back garden terraced and patiod. Worth every penny and a lot less clat to enjoy.
(Patiod? I just verbalised a noun. Hmm, must stop conversing with so many Americans.)
American version would surely be padiod. Doesn’t look good. Patio-ed? Patioed? Flagged?
Steve
PATOID: A disease specifically related to the French, who get their knickers in a not if the pate ain’t fresh!
MarkB
I didn’t know the French wore knickers…oops, sorry, I forgot, it’s “be nice to the French week” in the UK… 
Steve
The American version would be to patioize the yard. I hate words that end in “ize”.