C and F and the Future of the Stock Market

Whistle
1

While browsing the archive of ‘tune of the month’ today, I noticed–somewhat to my consternation–that archived tunes exist for the next year and a half, or so.

This leads me to wonder: is it possible that whistle playing can endow its practicioner with the ability to either 1) see into the future, or 2) modify the future according to his whim? Or both? I’ve long known that Dale possesses uncanny powers not granted (wisely, hah hah) to mere mortals, but this is certainly a new and intriguing twist.

As an equities trader, I’d be mildly interested in ascertaining which stocks will move up (or down), and by how much, and on what dates, and would be willing to pay large sums of money to whomever might be able to come up with an accurate, timely ‘stock of the month’ archive for the next year or so, all information for my eyes only. If you could have this completed, along with methodologies and modalities, not to mention key used (D, preferably), by December 31, 2003, I’d be most grateful and will buy said person a pint of his/her favorite libation.

Faithfully yours,

Jake

2

It not that the undisputed one can change the stock market by a flick of the wrist. It is his scandalous postiings which scare whistle investors and set the market to REELING.

I suppose that Crystal People have some influence over this but whenever they are mentioned, the take control of th^C### TRANSMISSION INTERRUPTED ### - AUTOMATIC C&F MESSAGE FEED MONITOR - PLANETARY RECEPTION NETWORK.

3

Let me just say this much: The “Chiff & Fipple Investors’ Guide” that they send you when you hit 2,500 posts is a real eyeopener… and here I thought all the talk of DaleForce I and DaleForce II and the Rolls Royces and Carribean islands was idle talk…

4

Let’s just say, we pulled our money out of Martha Stewart, Inc.

5

… after we received a reliable tip from a secretary in the DA’s office that they were going ahead with the case. Of course it was in the papers the next day, but, you know, we had already sold.