Are you concerned about the exploitation of animals in the fur trade, but still have the desire for a luxurious fur coat? Well heres a company that can resolve your guilt and satisfy your longing for a beautiful new fur coat !!
THE ROAD KILL COAT COMPANY .
All pelts are guaranteed road kills and are expertly transformed into coats of beauty and as we import skins from all over the world you can design the cost yourself ,you may want a kangaroo coat with raccoon sleeves with a badger collar and squirrel lapels , No problem to The ROAD KILL COAT COMPANY.your wish is our command !!!
PS we are doing a special on tom cat at the moment as the road seems to be littered with them
(well, actually, I thought it was pretty damned clever, but others assure me it is assinine)
Friends, are you worried about sky-rocketing funeral costs? Worried that you won’t be able to afford a reasonable burial plot for yourself and your loved ones?
U-DIG CEMETERY
This revolutionary concept in interment let’s you team up with like-minded folks in a way that allows you the dignity of a decent burial for less than one-tenth the cost of commercial operations. Sign up now. You bury the next on the team to pass on, and when you go, someone else on the list will bury you. We operate on an honour system with people who share your values, so you can rest assured that you will truly rest in peace.
Want to start your own U-Dig Cemetery? Its easy! All you need is a few acres of land and a tall hedge. No-one else needs know!
(Although there may actually be a market for “Prostates ’ R’ Us’”- a chain of mall shops in which you can get either a prostate exam or a testicular cancer check performed by 19-year-olds dressed in real hospital scrubs. And the beauty part is . . . . your Blue Cross would cover it.)
