Announcement: The Republic of West Ozarkia

Poststructural Pub
1

Tahlequah, OK March 23, 2005

Representatives of the Cherokee Nation of Oklahoma and of seven counties in western Arkansas have drafted the first charter of its kind in history. The result will be the first new nation formed on the North American continent in many years.

The Republic of West Ozarkia is scheduled to come into existence at 12:01 AM CST on April 1, 2005. Here are some of the details:

Official Name: The Republic of West Ozarkia.

Location: A small area in the south-central part of the North American continent, bordered by the existing American states of Kansas and Missouri, as well as the newly-reapportioned American states of Arkansas and Oklahoma.

Political Structure: This republic will be governed by the Principal Chief of the former Cherokee Nation, along with all of the former sheriffs of the counties included in the new nation. It would be best described as a “beneficent oligarchy”. :slight_smile:

Primary Industries: Agriculture, manufacturing, the production of mountain dulcimers and whistles, and busking. :roll:

National Anthem: The theme to “Batman”. :stuck_out_tongue:

National Motto: “First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.” :smiley:

National Bird: The mosquito. :astonished:

National Flag: Three vertical stripes, all in different shades of green, thus earning the Republic of West Ozarkia the nickname “Green Country”. :smiling_imp:

Units of Currency: Primary - the Mankiller, secondary - the Byrd. Both names of Principal Chiefs of the former Cherokee Nation. Counted at the rate of 23 Byrds per Mankiller. Confusing, isn’t it? :boggle:

Join us as we celebrate the birth of a new nation on April 1. Cheers! :party:

2

Oooh! I can just hear that anthem now…

neener, neener, neener, neener,
neener, neener, neener, neener,
neener, neener, neener, neener,
Ozarkia!

hmmm… somehow I just don’t think my mental version of the Batman theme is quite what you have in mind… :slight_smile:

3

Actually, it is! :laughing:

4

I mean is this some kind of a joke or what?

5

I do get the distinct feeling that one of my legs is getting longer than the other… but I guess we’ll have to wait for the actual DATE OF THE EVENT to know for sure (coughintcough)

6

Well, I sure hope they protect their national bird. I hope they provide sanctuary for all mosquitoes looking for a place where they will be safe and honored. I am planning to tell every mosquito in Iowa to head south.

7

Honest truth, I’m not the one who made this one up, it just…ummm… sounds a lot like something I’d say.

8

Wait! Wait!! What’s the official brew? I need to know what to toast it with!!

Otherwise it’s a case of ‘catch as catch can’, and that’s hardly adequate, I think, given the grave import of the situation.

9

And I’ll tell the Minnesotan mosquitos. There’s been too much wanton killing going on.

10

Very true… :wink:

Slan,
D.

11

Who’s killing wantons?? I’m incensed! I like those things! Well… I suppose a few do die for my soup, and maybe a few more get fried for a treat, but to just out and out kill them!!! I’m mortified!

12

Me, too. Dirty rotten shame, that.

13

Rolling Rock. What else? :smiley:

14

Mmmm… haven’t had one of those in a couple of decades! Might be due…

15

Just don’t let the revenooers catch you.

16

Ah… I did a St. Louis Brewery Coffee Stout Friday night… I figure since it took a year to get around to it, it ought to be a good sturdy one! LOL!

T’warn’t no reveenooers on the place!

17

I see you toasted the one-year anniversary of our great nation! :smiley:

18

Actually, I’ve toasted it a few times, including on the eve of it’s announcement, but since Walden was kind enough to reply after a year, I take full advantage of the opportunity to dedicqte the loverly stuff to a worthy cause.