Anyone here care about politics? Yeah, I kinda thought so. 
I won’t claim profundity for this article, but I did think it was clever.
February 7, 2004
OP-ED COLUMNIST
Kerry’s Special Friends
By DAVID BROOKS
ohn Kerry has been railing against the special interests, and I don’t think that’s very nice because it implies that some people’s interests are not so special. I like to think that everybody’s interests are special in their own way.
What’s more, I think Kerry knows this, because if you look over his long career, you see that he loves all our interests, big and small, near or far. For example, a Chinese businesswoman named Liu Chaoying dreamed of having her company listed on a U.S. stock exchange. That’s certainly a special dream.
Maybe as a little girl she would come home from school, gather up her little dollies and tell them about her dream of ringing the bell to start the trading day, or of having little Lucite tombstones on her desk to mark her mergers and acquisitions. Maybe some of the other little girls in school told her she’d never have a company on a U.S. exchange, because you know how cruel little kids can be.
But she had an interest, and to her it was the most specialest interest in the world. And she kept at it. And that cute little girl grew up to become a lieutenant colonel in China’s People’s Liberation Army, which is a very special army, even measured against the armies of other human rights-violating dictatorships. And what’s more, she had a $300,000 bank account with funds supplied by the head of Chinese intelligence, which is certainly quite special indeed.
And Liu came to America in search of her dream, for this is the nation of dreams. And she went to see a most special man named Johnny Chung. And in July 1996, according to Newsweek, Chung took Liu to see his special friend John Kerry about her dream, and Kerry recognized its specialness. So his aides faxed over a letter to the S.E.C. about the dream, and the very next day Liu and Chung had a private briefing with a senior S.E.C. official about making her special dream come true.
And then a few weeks after that, Johnny Chung threw a fund-raiser for John Kerry in Beverly Hills. And John Kerry came away with $10,000 in contributions, and I like to think they were very special contributions. I like to think they were written on special designer checks, maybe with rainbows or kittens or Chinese long-range missile designs shaded on the back, because special dreams deserve special checks, and when a man as special as John Kerry takes up an interest, I think that makes it a special interest all by itself.
Liu Chaoying’s interest was not the only interest John Kerry took a special interest in. According to The Associated Press, Kerry took a special interest in the insurance giant American International Group. When Senator John McCain proposed legislation that would have ended a federal contracting loophole benefiting A.I.G., Kerry did not look away, as others might have done. A loophole may not seem like much to you and me, but to A.I.G. it was a very special loophole — the cuddly kind of loophole you can hold under the blankets and tell your secrets to late at night. And according to The A.P., John Kerry preserved the little loophole. And by sheer coincidence, A.I.G. donated $30,000 to help start Kerry’s presidential campaign.
While sitting on the commerce and finance committees, John Kerry has seen many interests, and you could forgive him if he didn’t think they were all special. But Kerry has raised more money from Washington lobbyists than any other senator. He’s raised over $30 million over the past nine years, and you just ask the folks in the telecom industry if he doesn’t make them feel special.
You just ask David Paul, one of the big figures in the savings and loan scandal, if Kerry didn’t make him feel special. You just ask the high-tech executive Bob Majumder how special Kerry made him feel, at least until Majumder was charged with 40 counts of conspiracy, witness tampering, fraud, tax evasion and illegal campaign contributions. You just ask the law firms, the brokerage houses, the oil companies, the H.M.O.'s and the drug companies, which have donated tens of thousands of dollars to Kerry.
Oh, he sometimes pretends that he doesn’t care about our special interests. He puts on that callous populist facade. But deep down he cares. Maybe he cares too much. When he’s out on the stump saying otherwise, he’s just being a big old phony.
