So here, for those of you seeking, between tweets, to plug some gaps in your education, is a brief tour of Western philosophy up to the 20th century, a very manageable one tweet at a time.
Socrates: Drinking hemlock; toes tingling; legs getting numb. Maybe unexamined life worth living? Guard!
Plato: Symposium 2nite 7pm, @ The Cave. Open mike, open bar. Under 21 admitted free.
Aristotle: 2 say of what is, that it is, is true; 2 say that it is not true, is false. And this is what is, and thus true; and there4 not false.
(Early) Augustine: In Carthage w/the Smashers 2nite total caldron of lust here XXX!
(Later) Augustine: John 3:16.
Anselm: God must exist, for otherwise that than which none gr8ter can b conceived would b 1 than which a gr8ter CAN b conceived, fool.
Aquinas: How many angels can dance on a pin? I answer that it depends on whether the tango, fandango, or the Mexican hat dance is in question.
Descartes: Check out the new Facebook fan page 4 my fav starchy tuber! I link there4 a yam.
Spinoza: Mind is God. Matter is God. I m God. Only thing not God is God.
Locke: Our minds @ birth are like blank slates, except 4 all the ideas, dispositions, and powers we are innately born with.
Leibniz: Optimist says this is the best possible world. Pessimist agrees.
Hume: No sense can b made of anything, nothing can b known, crud just happens. I’ll b @ the pub.
Kant: The thing as it appears is white, creamy, and delicious; we cannot know whether it is, in itself, just mayonnaise.
Hegel: God’s long path toward realizing, in His highest form, Himself, all of history is, namely German bureaucracy.
Schopenhauer: All is empty, pointless. Deep, dark despair. Could use snack.
Marx: Hegel wrong. It’s not spirit that moves bodies. It’s coffee.
Kierkegaard: OMG heartsick again today. OMG Regina, luv of my life, still hasn’t called. OMG.
Nietzsche: Restraints too tight, barely wriggle fingers 2 type. Renfield brought some flies to munch, a real übermensch. But what, no dip?