A retirement plan I could live with. :)

Poststructural Pub
1

A friend sent me this, I thought it was funny (in a ha-ha-only-serious sort of way), and worth sharing:

Why drink, you may ask?

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago you would have $49.00 left.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214.00 cash.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

It’s called the 401-Keg.

–James

2

Already posted in the procto forum: http://chiffboard.mati.ca/viewtopic.php?p=831574&highlight=#831574

(Though, admittedly, buried in a long thread.)

3

How do I short sell my liver?

4

You’d need to borrow someone else’s healthy liver, sell it for a high price to an alcoholic, buy it back for a low price after it’s been thoroughly abused, then return it to its original owner (perhaps with a small rental fee).

5

If I saw it, I didn’t remember it.

Sorry for the duplicate post.

–James

6

No worries. I doubt many in the pub saw it buried in that procto intestine. :slight_smile:

7

I figured that drinking over sixty cases of beer in a year until retirement I wouldn’t have to outsource.

8

Well, you could sell your own healthy liver for a high price, then buy it back for a low price, but that leaves you with a rotten liver. Much better to use someone else’s liver. :smiling_imp:

9

Has it occurred to none of you that you could share, and not lose a dime? Maybe not gain a pound either. :smiley: