Every night for a couple of weeks a large toad has been hanging around my back door at cat kicking-out time (usually just a minute or two after I’ve posted my final ad hominem of the day to C & F 
). Thing is, I’ve got into the habit of…ahem…having a little chat with it before coming in and going to bed (the toad stays outside, I hasten to add). I’ve even taken to giving it a little pat or two on the head. It just sits there looking at me, making no attempt to get away. In fact I think it enjoys our nightly meeting. The whole thing is very agreeable. My wife thinks I’ve gone daft in the head. I’ll see if I can get a photo of it next time. I really don’t know why I’m telling you this.
Toads make great companions. We have tree frogs that sit on the outside wall catching bugs near the light. I enjoy watching them but I haven’t started patting them on the head yet.
My witchy friends would say “sounds familiar…”
Toads are good to have around for any number of reasons. Talking to them is (in my view) an equally good thing to do. They don’t say much in return, but they do listen rather nicely.
Many moons ago I discovered that we had a family of hedgehogs living in my parents’ garden. They used to bumble noisily along the side passage from front to back.
For several weeks that summer we put out dog food in a bowl, and the hogs would roll up and eat it, usually stepping in the bowl while eating.
Communing with nature is always fun. For Cap’n Shaw it’s a toad, for me it was hedgehogs.
Aha! I suspected Steve’s posts had lately become a little wider. Here’s the truth</A](http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Labyrinth/9624/thetoad.html">truth</A)> of the matter.
djm
You won’t catch me licking toads. The only substance I ever do is alcohol. Gave up the baccy on Feb 21 1978 at 8.05 p.m. Never tried anything else. I’ll pat 'em but I won’t lick 'em or smoke 'em.
You’re such a dolt, Steve. He’s waiting for your wife to kiss him!! Every night you come to the door and start making these noises at him. He sits there thinking, “Him again!? If he pats me on the head, I swear I’m going to pee on his hand and give him warts. Why doesn’t she ever let the cat out? sigh”
Susan
Could be a female toad, Steve!
…you might want to check before kissing it yourself. 
I love this story. Thanks for sharing it, and pictures would be wonderful. There is surely a children’s book in there: the appearance, quite unexpected, unlooked for, of a friend, and the mutuality of the pleasure.
Carol
My wife goes to bed hours before I do which is why I can sit here getting into fights! 
Funnily enough I was going to see whether Mr(s) Toad is around a bit earlier tonight so that my wife can witness the zany goings-on (I’m not sure she completely believes me!). I doubt whether any toad-snogging will ensue somehow. I will report back!
Warty-lips! Warty-lips!
djm
Any hints on how to find out? And please don’t say “ask it” - it hasn’t got as far as talking back to me yet.
I’m really not all that sure if I want to know if you do any toad-snogging, Steve
On the contrary, I want pictures!
Them Toad Suckers
How ‘bout them toad suckers, ain’t they clods?
Sittin’ there suckin’ them green toady frogs!
Suckin’ them hop toads, suckin’ them chunkers,
Suckin’ them a leapy type, suckin’ them flunkers.
Look at them toad suckers, ain’t they snappy?
Suckin’ them bog frogs sure make’s 'em happy!
Them hugger mugger toad suckers, way down south,
Stickin’ them sucky toads in they mouth!
How to be a toad sucker, no way to duck it,
Get yourself a toad, rear back, and suck it!
– Mason Williams
Ahem…nothing like a good, upliftin’ bit of poetry… 
How to sex your toad?
This gives descriptions of male & female toads, common european variety.
This on the other hand, has a more practical approach.
This is much the same, but with hyperlinks.
Thank you Steve. Now I now how to sex my toad.
Now I just have to find a toad…
I’ll look for its nuptial pads. I lost a lot of girls in my youth by saying to them “Wanna come up and see my nuptial pad?” Can’t think why… 
I sure wouldn’t tickle that toad’s belly if you want it to keep coming and visiting you! It might be better to remain in doubt about the sex.