A Nightmare on Serpent Street...

Whistle
1

… and the serpent, thinking he had awoken, went unto his subterannean laboratory. There did he bring forth wormwood and plumbing solder, and from his box of broken **&!!@!! whistle-making failures, did he bring forth bits of brass and copper, and verily did he cleanse them on the altar of #500 silicon carbide paper.

And the serpent looked at his supplies, and they were good. And the serpent then took from its concealment, the Magickal Butane Torch of Power, and with its built-in electrical storm, did he light it…

(the serpent stirs… the dream continues, but the serpent knows not…)

“The tube is too thin!” muses the serpent, and verily lays he down a layer of solder, then a layer of brass… and the serpent is confident! He smiles, and carries it to the Enchanted Milling Machine, and there, mills he a perfect blade!!! “Forty degrees! Not a minute more, not a minute less!” rejoices the serpent. And, taking but one sliver more of brass, with the Torch of Power, does he add the covering to the windway, and it is good.

The serpent sees that the tube is good, but the windway is lonely. “Perhaps a lovely white fipple-plug would make a good companion!” theorizes the serpent, and, on the Whirligig Lathe of Doom, makes he a fipple plug from strange wood from the land of Delrin, where Nylon is king, and Cyanoacrylate the queen. “Yes!”, cries the serpent. “This shall surely be the Key to the Kingdom of Very Loud Low D Whistles!!!”, and he rejoices for a day.

And, waking in the glorious morn, the serpent repairs to the workshop… where he discovers that not only has he, in his dreamtime, actually built the Very Loud Low D whistle, but it lies in its brassy splendor before him…

He raises the whistle to his lips…

He blows gently…

… and is delivered of a squawk rivalling the very large flock of Canada geese passing overhead…

A chill wind blows up the spine of the serpent. He has preannounced, and the gods of whistledom are NOT AMUSED!!! “Perhaps it needs a warmup”, he theorizes, and warms the whistle gently… he blows again…


SQUAWK!!! HONK!!! rivalling the absolute worst green-headed brass piece-of-junk whistle in all of his shop, the Dream Whistle mocks the serpent with its brazen mockery… “MOCK!!! MOCK!!!” squawks the new whistle… “This cannot be!” thinks the serpent, “Surely I still dream!”

He pinches himself. It hurts. He looks at the whistle. It is real.

The Dream Experiment has failed miserably…


Back to the drawing board, thinks the serpent… there shall be no announcement of the Great Breakthrough from Serpent in this December…

A chill wind blows up the serpent’s spine as he turns, dejected, shoulders hunched, returns to the depths of his shop…

Here endeth the story…

:frowning: serpent :frowning:

2

Now have we learned our lesson about jumping the gun on announcements before they’re even an announcement (especially in fairy tale form)? :stuck_out_tongue:

3

Of course we have Sam. Now I want to make it absolutely clear that in making this announcement I am not thanking my sponsors McDonalds, Starbucks and Adidas. :stuck_out_tongue:

[Edited to fix a typo or two]

4

A chill wind blows up the serpent’s spine as he turns, dejected, shoulders hunched, returns to the depths of his shop…

Here endeth the story…

Raven sits in the chill of the night and thinks “This can not be the end!” She had promised herself that she would keep quiet but knows in her heart she can’t.

Raven flys to the dwelling where the Serpent sleeps. She finds a window slightly ajar. Gently, she moves into the room and over to the ear of the serpent. She whispers… “Serpent the dream is good! But you were enchanted by the Maiden of the Lake, who enticed you to go to the Evil woods of King Nylon. You must go beyond this this terrible woods and go to the Enchanted Forest. In this forest, you will see many trees. Look for the one they call Cedar for it is with him you will find your answers. For it is the trees that truly sing when the air blows thru them. You know my words are true for… You , yourself have seen this union before.” Having said this, Raven slips back into the cold winter night… Speaking Nevermore

5

Finally, some GOOD news.

6

Remember, noone MADE you read this thread. :roll:

7

This story reminds me of the destruction of my poor coping saw when I tried to make a whistle out of Inconel Tubing. It didn’t even scratch the tube. The tube remains on a shelf in my shop defiantly waiting for me to find a drill and saw to take it on.