Got this in my email. Don’t know the source:
When I was living in the Philippines I knew a Texan. He’d been living there for years, and was tragically killed. They were to ship him back to Texas for burial, but, unfortunately, no casket could be found that was big enough to ship the Texan in. There wasn’t time to build a new one, as the only cargo ship from Mindanao to Texas was to leave within two hours, and there wouldn’t be another one for a month. The undertaker finally just pricked him with a straight pin, and let all the hot air out, and they shipped him home in a matchbox.
That’ll convert nicely to a Yorkshireman joke.
Nah. No Tyke would run to the expense of a casket.
Steve (Lancastrian, intent on rekindling the Wars of the Roses - and having a break from riling the Welsh!)
Hardy har har.
[quote=“Darwin”]Got this in my email. Don’t know the source:
:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
Will O“A Little Texas Humor”? Is that an admission that there’s actually something in Texas that isn’t big?
Ever hear of the Great Wall society? They want to build a 20 foot high wall completely around the state of Texas…complete with barbed wire, rifle towers, attack dogs, and minefields.
Most of the major contributors live in Oklahoma.
(Maybe I’ll through a few $$ their way, too).
Is that to keep those who are in in or those who are out out??
You know what keeps Texas from falling into sea?
Oklahoma sucks.
But not enough because they keep tumbling down here to S Texas …haw haw haw haw
Our egos are tiny, too. 
I LOVE it!!!
Robin
Be careful. Remember what happened when Texas tried to suck money out of Oklahoma. This is a true story of a border skirmish involving one of our most colorful former governors, Alfalfa Bill. Texas was attempting to charge a toll on a bridge across the Red River that Oklahoma had built. Alfalfa Bill “called out the National Guard against Texas in the ‘Toll Bridge War,’ July, 1931, to reopen an Oklahoma-constructed free bridge across the Red River which had been closed by the Texas governor.” (Quote taken from http://title3.sde.state.ok.us/history_and_culture/prominent_people.htm)
A Texan is on a business trip to San Francisco. All week, he’s been telling the others at the meeting about how this is bigger in Texas and that’s bigger in Texas. The last night, they go out to dinner and have a few drinks. One of the SF contingent says, “I’ll show you something bit that you don’t have in Texas,” and he takes the guy to the Golden Gate Bridge. They walk out on it, and they both have to relieve themselves of a couple of the beers they’d consumed. While they’re peeing, the SF guy figures he’d hint at something else that isn’t smaller outside of Texas. He says, “Boy this water is cold.” The Texan replies without skipping a beat, “Yeah, deep, too.”
Shucks. Why can’t we ever have a governor named “Alfalfa Bill?” Heck, I’d settle for even a mayor with that name. I think it would make local politics so much more interesting.
Will O’Ban
I think I’ve posted this on the Chiffboard before, but it’s appropriate for this thread…
Folks in Alaska have gotten so tired of hearing how “everything is bigger in Texas” that they’ve decided to split Alaska in half and make Texas the third largest state.
Oklahoma Quarter
WASHINGTON, DC — Hang on to any of the new State of Oklahoma quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more than 25 cents.
The U. S. Treasury announced today that it is recalling all of the Oklahoma quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state. “We are recalling all the new Oklahoma quarters that were recently issued,” Treasury Undersecretary Jack Shackleford said Monday. This action is being taken after numerous reports that new quarters will not work in parking meters, tollbooths, vending machines, pay phones, or other coin-operated devices.
The quarters were issued in the order in which the various states joined the U. S. and have been a tremendous success among coin collectors worldwide. “The problem lies in the unique design of the Oklahoma quarter, which was created by both an OU graduate and an OSU graduate, Shackleford said. “Apparently, the duct tape holding the two dimes and the nickel together keeps jamming the coin-operated devices.