presents

 MOIST FIPPLE BLUES AND HOW TO LOSE ‘EM.

 

Dear Dale,

 

I have been playing a Clarke for a few months. I have trouble with moisture building up in the whistle, like unto a recorder, that messes up the sounds. I clear it up by blowing hard with a tissue over the hole; sometimes this is needed before the song is completed! Any suggestions?
                                Tom Carsey

 

 

 

This is one of the most common questions I get.  What to do about whistles clogging with moisture.  By the way, for those of you who have been around awhile, you know that we had a lively debate about a year ago about the nature of the mysterious fluids that build up in whistles (and in other wind instruments).  There are three schools of thought.  Drool Schools, you might call them. 

 

a.  THE SCHOOL OF SALIVA.  This school believes that the fluid is spit.  This is a disconcerting point of view, because it means that the next time you are in a pub and the whistle player clears his or her whistle by slinging it in an arc in the air, that is his or her SPIT flying across the pub and drizzling down on your chicken fingers.  This is the stuff of which pub brawls are made.

 

b.  THE SCHOOL OF LUNG HUMIDITY.  These guys believe that one's breath has moisture in it that comes from lungs and the vapor on the inside of the instrument is lung condensate.  It's only slightly less revolting that the Spit Theory.  Given the personal habits of some musicians I know, the idea that the stuff is NOT SPIT but is only stuff that has come up from the player's lungs is cold comfort, at best.

 

c.  THE SCHOOL OF AMBIENT CONDENSATE.  Hope springs eternal for these guys, who believe that the fluid is mostly made up of atmospheric moisture, kinda like the liquid on the outside of an ice tea glass on a summer day.  No big deal, they say.

 

I myself lean toward a hybrid school, the School of Lung Humidity/Ambient Condensate Blends (SLHACB).  I am absolutely convinced it is not spit because that would mean that you would have to sorta be drooling into your whistle, which is likely to occur only after about 1:00 a.m. in most pubs. 

 

But, in any case, how does one solve the problem of the whistle undergoing a MID-REEL FLUID OBSTRUCTION SEIZURE (MRFOS)?  Here's what I do when I find a whistle tends to clog. 

 

1.  Make a small amount of a solution of some kind of relatively pure detergent in water.  I use a peppermint liquid soap sold in health food stores called "Dr. Bronners."  (If you buy a bottle of this soap, be sure and read the really interesting label.) Anyway, make a watery-soapy mixture.  You want the solution to to feel pretty soapy.

 

2.  Cut a strip of stiff paper (I use a business card) that is slightly less than the width of the airway. 

 

3.  Dip the strip in the solution for a few seconds and insert the strip into the airway. 

 

4.  You want to coat the inside of the airway with this solution. 

 

5.  Let it dry.

 

What then seems to happen is that the soap residue is activated when the fluid starts to build up.  The soap keeps the fluid from beading up and clogging.  I guess it is a surfacant effect.  I think it may be related to the Northern Lights, but I'm not sure.  I wasn't all that good in science classes.

 

I guess I should make this disclaimer:  THIS METHOD OF PREVENTING MID-REEL FLUID OBSTRUCTION SEIZURE IS BELIEVED TO BE SAFE.  CHIFF & FIPPLE'S LEGAL DEPARTMENT IS OF THE OPINION THAT IT IS DIFFICULT TO HURT A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT BY ATTACKING IT WITH A LIMP, DAMP, AND SOAPY STRIP OF PAPER.  BUT WE COULD BE WRONG.  SO, USE THIS METHOD AT YOUR OWN RISK.  THIS METHOD IS NOT EFFECTIVE AS A BIRTH CONTROL MEASURE.