THE CHIFF & FIPPLE GREETING

June 08, 2003

CHIFF & FIPPLE EDITOR RESIGNS OVER ETHICAL CRISIS


(Birmingham, AL) The Board of Directors of 3Fish Productions, the shadowy organization which has controlling interest of tinwhistle multimedia juggernaut Chiff & Fipple, announced the resignation of founding editor Dale Wisely over recent allegations of unethical journalistic practices.  The Board took the action, they said, because of credible evidence that Wisely published stories in the Chiff & Fipple website and newsletters using material gathered by unpaid interns without crediting the interns.  "3Fish Productions appoints interns to Chiff & Fipple editorial offices to provide young people with experience in the growing field of tinwhistle internet journalism.  These interns should not have been used to research, draft, and edit Chiff & Fipple content.  They should not have been used to pick up Wisely's suits at the cleaners.  They should not have been used as "attendants" on Dale Force One.  They should not have been used to pick up his lunch, or to serve his lunch to him.  They should not have been used as armed guards protecting the Chiff & Fipple Secure Server Facility in Canada.  They should not have been used to train attack dogs to protect the so-called "Chiff & Fipple Whistle Collection," here in Birmingham.  ." 

Wisely, who who is expected to continue to supervise Chiff & Fipple's Internet Publishing until a replacement is hired, could not be reached for comment.

"This is completely bogus," responded Wisely in a prepared statement read at a press conference by an unpaid intern, identifed only at "Amber."   The intern, accompanied by Chiff & Fipple attorney, whistlemaker and podiatrist Dr. Paul Busman, left abruptly after reading the statement. 


 

Hello.

I'm Dale Wisely and this is Chiff & Fipple's 6Hole Theory:  PostStructural Tinwhistle Journalism for the New Millenium.

 

June 08, 2003

 

 

I.  Ian Lambe Review

Dear Dale,

I'm not an experienced player or anything, only been playing for a little more than half a year.

 
In any case, I saw that you didn't have a review for the Ian Lambe Low Whistle... I have a Low D made by him, and it's really excellent. I'm no expert, but I can tell you, it's the third low whistle I've ever played, and it sounds bloody professional when I play it. Which is very interesting considering that I've only been playing low whistles for a month or two and am therefore not particularly good... Very easy on the fingers (although I have played a Low C before I came to playing this one so I don't really know...), brilliant sound, very clear and beautiful, rich and deep. Almost no breathiness, just pure sound. Whether you like it that way or no, it just sounds great. It's quite sensitive on the low register, I have difficulty playing it outside when there are a lot of these. Despite this, it's very responsive. I can play it about till the middle of the third octave, although not very much in tune. My guess is that it's due to lack of skill and not because of the instrument because it's steadily getting better.

 

It's also got a beautifully made engraving - a Celtic animal, with "Ian Lambe" and "Co. Clare" written above and below it, respectively. Although it's tunable, I never used that feature - it's an instrument to tune all the others by...
 
Also, I've got an O'Briain C, very breathy sound, a touch less sensitive than Lambe's D. It's also pretty quiet, relatively speaking.
 
Note that both whistles are used, I lent them from a fine fellow with whom I play, so I can't tell you anything about what happened when I bought them, because I didn't.
 
Sincerest regards and with great respect,
Rookie Whistler 

Marc Trius,

Haifa, Israel.
 
Marc,

Thanks for your email.  Reviews of Ian Lambe whistles are frustratingly rare although the ones I have seen have certainly been positive.  Thanks for sharing.

Dale

 

II.  SPAM & RECORDERS.

This email doesn't quite make sense, but I sense some profound question lurking just under the surface:

Dear Dale,

I've often wondered whether spam was as insidious as recorder players...they've often come to the forefront as I can recall them making their way into the public school system. There ought to be controls on how our school dollars and internet dollars are spent... (as long as it doesn't affect 
my internet activities or cause my taxes to go up). 

Anonymous

Now, I will say, with all due respect to our Brothers & Sisters of the Fipple Flute Family (recorder players) that I've always thought it would be better for school systems to teach the whistle rather than the recorder.  The simpler fingering system makes it a better "intro to music" instrument for, uh, you know, simpler people, like children and, uh, whistle players.

III.  AN EMAIL SUBJECT LINE WHICH WAS REALLY A NOTICE FROM A NICE WOMAN WHO WANTED ME TO ENTER HER IN THE CRISIS CENTER DRAWING, BUT WHICH I THOUGHT AT FIRST MIGHT BE A SPAM MESSAGE FROM A PORN SITE

 
 
"enter me!"

 


IV.  CRISIS CENTER DRAWING

HOWARD LOW D WHISTLES IN FOUR FABULOUS COLORS 

GIVEAWAY!

A reminder:  The good people of Howard have donated four of their new color Low D whistles to Chiff & Fipple for a fund-raising incentive.

The Crisis Center has initiated their annual membership drive in which the first 1000 people to donate $55 are entered in a drawing for a new Mazda Miata, along with other prizes.  This means if you enter, you are guaranteed one shot in 1000 for the Miata and even better odds of winning one of the prizes. (Your contribution is tax deductible, even under the Bush taxplan!.)  Chiff & Fipple members who donate $55 to the Crisis Center, and only Chiff & Fipple members, also enter a drawing for one of these Howard Low D whistles.

Now, to date, nine (9) Chiff & Fipplers have entered.  Now, don't get me wrong, that's a good response and half way to my goal of 20 entries.  But, look, think about it, as of this date, these nine people have four chances out of nine to win a Howard.  Let's not make it THAT easy for them.

For details, click here

Read more about the Crisis Center's work here.

Good luck and thanks for entering.  

Thanks to Thom Larson's The Whistle Shop for the photo.

 

V. Hohner Whistles Revisited

Hello Dale.

Love your website and have just subscribed to the newsletter. I tried  sending you information last year about the two Hohner C whistles I own, 
but I guess the email went astray, so here goes again. I play whistle and English concertina for fun and amusement (My own. The public is rarely amused). In the mid-seventies, I purchased a Hohner C from a store in Toronto, where I was living at the time. I found it a nice whistle, but difficult to get a clean sound from. I then went to Ireland 
in vacation and thinking that my first Hohner was flawed, purchased another Hohner C. (Incidentally, I bought this from a guy going around various parts of Ireland in a van selling musical instruments, mainly Hohner accordions.) However, the second whistle also showed the same problem (or is it the player?). Also, as noted on your site, both are quite sharp.

They sit unplayed in a large jar where I keep whistles (sounds eerily like Igor's collection of brains). I will send you one to have for your 
collection if you want, no charge, since you're doing such great work for whistle players. Just let me know. (Note:  I let him know.  Don't worry).

Have you heard of a French brand of whistle called a Camac? I have one, again purchased in the seventies in Toronto, in D. It has a very large, 
chunky red plastic mouthpiece, very like a recorder mouthpiece, and a cylindrical brass body. I mention it for its historical interest, because frankly, it's an entirely crappy whistle, with major overtone problems in the upper register. It's no surprise that you don't hear about them, but it's kind of fun to have one.

Cheers,

Tom Ryan, Sudbury, Ontario, Canada

Always interesting to hear about the legendary Hohner whistle. For those of you new to us, this is a particularly odd chapter in whistle history, and I'll give this summary.  A fascinating genre of whistle music exists in Africa called kwela. Very, very interesting and entertaining music. (For a fun neo-Kwela kind of thing, check out Positively Testcard.) The instrument maker Hohner made whistles for a time which ended in the late 70s early 80s.  This was the preferred whistle of kwela musicians and, when it was discontinued, kwela almost died out.  I understand the saxophone (an inferior instrument you may have heard of) took its place for a time.  Anyway, Hohners are collector's items, even though, as Tom points out, they are unremarkable whistles, to say the most.

VI.  A READER INQUIRES FURTHER ABOUT AFRICAN MUSIC

Dear Dale,

Besides Kwela, what is another genre of African music that all of us Chiff & Fipplers should check out?

Inquiring Mind

Dear Inquiring Mind,

Mbira!:

mbira by Richard Selman 

http://www.bham.net/soe/stm/mbira.html

http://www.mbira.org

Dale

VII.  CHIFF & FIPPLE EDITOR STANDS ACCUSED OF NEW YORK TIMES-STYLE ETHICAL ISSUES.

Dear Dale,

It seems to me that sometimes you make up letters from readers just to serve your own purpose--you know, so you can have an opportunity to say something you really want to say.  Or sometimes you make up letters that attack you, just so people will come to your defense and make you feel better.

John Smith

Dear John,

You've hurt my feelings.  I do and do and do for you people and this is the thanks I get.  I certainly hope some loyal member of Chiff & Fipple will take this opportunity to share their views of the job I'm doing or I may just pitch a hissy fit and resign!

Dale

 

VIII.  ABELL GIVE-a-WAY, MINI-FUNDRAISER

Thanks to everyone who contributed recently to a mini-fundraiser which we did through the MESSAGE BOARD.  The board recently suffered a major hardware crash, in spite of the very tight security measures on the perimeter of our top-secret Chiff & Fipple Server Compound in Canada. (Armed Interns Kimberly & Hayley, an automated laser system that will drill a smoking hole in you if you let it, etc.)  We decided we needed to show our noble Canadian tech team, Rich Lafferty and Chris Petro, a little love, so we were able to send some fundage via this little project.  This paid for replacement hardware and established a little rainy-day fund.  Several people made donations, and I hope to publish a list of their names in a future issue.  For now, special thanks to veteran Chiff & Fipple supporter Stuart Hall for donating an Abell blackwood D whistle.  We had a silent auction and the whistle was scored by Craig Heilman.

 

IX.  THE PROPHETIC POWERS OF THE UNDISPUTED.

Two things recently that reminded me of my staggering powers of prophecy, and/or my ability to maintain my finger on the pulse of world culture. (I mean, not to go over the top or anything.)

Item #1.  On http://www.chiffandfipple.com/faq.html we find:

"My new musical about Jerry Springer ("Springer!") is previewing in Atlanta and, in what I regard as really imaginative casting, will star Meryl Streep as Jerry Springer."

Now, I think I wrote this about 1998 or so and it has been on that page.  It was, of course, a joke, accompanied as it was by my also pretending to be working on a new Philip Glass opera based on the life of Carl Jung and starring The Godfather of Soul, Mr. James Brown.  (I also claimed, in the same paragraph, to be choreographing a new NASCAR grand ballet.)  

But, as you may have heard, there is now an opera playing in England, "Jerry Springer--The Opera."

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2002/08/26/1030053032476.html

the guy playing Springer.

I will, of course, be suing them.

 

(just kidding).

Item #2.  Back in high school in the early 70s my friends Tony Clark and Mike Hodshire and I briefly did a little musical routine, the gag of which was that Johnny Cash was covering Black Sabbath tunes. This is the kind of thing you do when you don't have jobs.  As it turns out, I do a credible imitation of Johnny Cash doing Black Sabbath tunes.  "Ironman" was a good one. (I'm trying not to do this bit anymore, because, you know, I'm, like, 47 years old and everything).

Anyway, while, to my knowledge, the great Johnny Cash has yet to cover Black Sabbath, he does now have a hit covering Nine Inch Nails "Hurt."

Now I must shift to a serious note about this. Serious because, as you may know, Mr. Cash recently lost his wife June Carter Cash.  But, also, as it turns out, the Johnny Cash cover of "Hurt" is one of the damndest things I have ever heard and the video is one of the damndest things I have ever seen.  Check it out and see if it doesn't shake you to the core.

Do a search at google.com and you'll find links to various audio and video formats.  Write me and let me know what you think.  The video is also playing on country music TV channels.


V i s i t a t i o n      p o e m s     b y     D a l e  W i s e l y

(click)

 

 


X.  POEM

The Flutemaker

In Chinese culture, bamboo is symbol of flexibility and long life.

                        --from a commentary on the Tao te Ching.

To tell about myself, I must speak of my flutes.

Irish flutes:  Six fingerholes. No keywork.

Each from a length of bamboo

I harvest myself. 

 

In a shed behind my house,

the bamboo culms season for six years

and are then cut and lathed smooth and true.

With cautious application of flame,

the bamboo pieces are cured and

do not perish.

 

I drill the holes, making faithful

both placement and size.

The drill runs and the air smells of silt

and a thousand bamboo groves,

a thousand years old.

 

When musicians play my flutes

A little storm of agitated air

forms at the embouchure.

My sound is rich in overtones

 

but sacrifices the quickness

of the note’s attack.

A note rolls up behind

a beat of  hesitation 

while the breath fills the tube.

It is a subtle difference,

But detectable to my ears.

 

I am 60 years old

and I live with my father and care for him.

Our kitchen is my workshop.

Here is the stove and here the lathe.

Here is a coffeepot and here a drill press.

 

Here is an iron antique

that pares apples

And here a mitre saw.

Here is a stack of dishtowels

and here a polishing machine.

Here is the kitchen table.

 

To put food on the table

I must work as a teller at a bank.

As I hand money back and forth

and exchange cash for check,

check for cash, I see flutes

on the counter before me,

among money orders.

 

When customers speak to me,

I see domes of roiling air

form forward of their lips and

their words mingle with flute tones.

 

                    -DW (6/03)

 

 

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Lord, help us see how near is your kingdom.