LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE CHIFF & FIPPLE CERTIFICATE OF AUTHENTICITY

Many of you who followed my recent experience with a broken computer may know that a local computer shop refused to work on it because they were going to have to re-install Windows during the process and I had misplaced my Microsoft "Certificate of Authenticity."  This, in spite of the fact that the machine came with Windows installed, I had the original CD, and the CD's security key number.  The clerk said to me, I mean, he actually said this, "What if Microsoft were to walk in here while we were working on it and demand to see the Certificate?"  I told him that I understood how dangerous that would be, that he and his family would not be safe, and that the Microsoft Agents would undoubtedly drag him out into an alley behind the shop and beat him senseless.  This probably didn't help me any.  Anyway, it got me thinking about how I have been negligent to all of you by not providing you with your Certificates of Authenticity.  So, here you go: